Thursday, May 19, 2011

Instructions for my husband: Please cease all forms, variations and sounds generally known as "beatboxing"

I know it's fun for you. And I know you think you sound really cool. But here's the thing: you don't. I think, much like a cappella, nothing can be done to make beatboxing sound good. It is just a really annoying medium. (Unless you're Matisyahu, but you aren't.)

So seriously, if you could just never beatbox again, that would be like so great, thanks! Or - and L.E.S.ter will appreciate this - I will be forced to sing "Apples and Bananas" the entire way through just to tie things up between us in the irritating Olympics. For those of you not familiar with this classic, truly annoying song, here is Rafi singing it:



And here are the lyrics so you can sing along:

Apples and Bananas

I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
A
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
E
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
I
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
O
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
U
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos

And you, my beloved husband, are going to start hearing this song all day and all night. That's right, all. the. time.

Or, you could just stop beatboxing.
This is my sixteenth instruction in my ongoing series Instructions for my Husband.

Now tell me, is there anything more annoying than beatboxing?

9 comments:

l.e.s.ter said...

Nooooooooooo. It's not fair. Why am I still being subjected to that? I've never done any beatboxing.

blueviolet said...

I can totally see why you'd need to pull this out of your pocket. Beatboxing is absolutely unacceptable, no matter how you slice it.

A Mommy in the City said...

Ha! Please sing that song for him!

mutterschwester said...

Oh dear. I've never heard that song before, and I'm really, really frightened that I kind of liked it. I think I may have completed my downward spiral into insanity.

"I like that one." Me too! Aaaaaack!

Anna ~ Random Handprints said...

@mutterschwester i totally like that song too!but my huz does not so it is the perfect equalizer to the beatboxing, which he likes and i loathe.

Elizabeth-Flourish in Progress said...

Anna! This could possibly be my last day on earth and I am so miffed that I will have Rafi running through my head. Unless the world doesn't end today, then I'll have beatboxing and the Rafi song stuck in my head tomorrow too! =P xo.

Jill said...

I actually love that song. Sing it to Sebastian all the time. Ha

Anna ~ Random Handprints said...

i'm with you, jill - i've liked the song since i was kid. but my huz, not so much...

I'm Jennifer. said...

In college, after we got our drink on I'd beatbox and my roommate would rap. We thought we were da bomb-bizzle as we would say back then. I'm sure people just found us incredibly annoying.

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