Sunday, November 6, 2011

How to waste forty dollars without really trying

I'm linking this old post up to Yeah Write (for the first time).

It was a Saturday night in the height of summer. We wanted to be "fun parents", and as our oldest daughter Mapgie was at a friends house, we offered to take our daughter Kay (age 5) and her little brother Ziggy (not-quite-two) out do dinner. We gave Kay free-reign to pick the evening's dining establishment.

I suggested options, with an ever-so-slight emphasis on the more upscale place that was my preference to the usual kids' pick.

Kay was much clearer in making known her choice. "THE DINER! I WANT A HOT DOG!"

I agreed, but only after pointing out ever-so-subtly that the place I wanted to go also had hot dogs.

Kay dismissed this quickly, explaining "those hot dogs aren't good, they don't taste like hot dogs."

Which to be honest, is true. I mean, they're good - even better than the average hot dog I might argue - but they don't really taste like a classic hot dog.

So I agreed to go to the diner.

We sit down, all smiles in our turquoise leatherette booth. We order. A kids menu hot dog for Kay, which double score for her, comes with fries.

I eat my sub-par diner salad. My husband and I shovel food while trying to keep Ziggy's almost two-year-old antics to a minimum.

A few minutes go by, and I notice Kay hasn't eaten her dinner. At all.

I ask, in my sweetest Mother's voice, "Kay, what's up with you not eating your hot dog?

Kay replies: "I don't like it. It tastes like a... hot dog."

"Uh, OK." I say, thinking to myself, who the fuck orders a hot dog and then complains that it tastes like a.... hot dog?

I try again, in my sweetest Mother's voice, "Kay, what about the fries? You're not even eating the fries."

She replies, "They're too fried. Next time, could you ask them to make them less fried?"

Suppressing the urge to go on a rant about what would happen if I tried to start that conversation with the cook behind the diner counter, I instead point out, But they're fries. They're fried."

Kay, exasperated, answers "I know. I'd like them less fried."




My husband pays the check while I inspect the remains of Kay's entire dinner on her plate, and Ziggy's entire dinner on the floor, as we all leave the diner and a meal no one really ate, down forty bucks.

But as we walked to the car with two smiley kids, and made the way home amid their happy chatter, my husband and I were secure in knowing for that summer's night we were "fun parents," and that from the kids point of view, this had been a great night out.

And how can you put a price on that?

I'm linking up to Yeah Write, where I've been happily reading for awhile since being introduced to it by That Unique* Weblog, but this is my first time "on the grid."

35 comments:

blueviolet said...

Oh I could put a price.....(under my breath, quietly as I seethe.)

Not really. I'd feel the same way you did!

kdwald said...

You guys sound so much *funner* than we are. I always order breakfast food at diners. Mmmmmmm.

Jill said...

Kids!

RandomHandprints said...

i should follow your ordering-lead. i always get the wrong thing.

Adriennecb said...

"It tastes like hot dog." and "it's too fried..."
I've been there! ha!

Sisterhood of Moms said...

This is exactly why we almost never go out for dinner. Our kids are crazy kids and say things just like this. Cute post, Erin

Georgette Gilmore said...

Love it! Kids definitely change the whole eating out experience. My favorite part is: "Uh, OK." I say, thinking to myself, who the fuck orders a hot dog and then complains that it tastes like a.... hot dog?

Beth Zimmerman said...

It's my first time "on the grid" too! Loved this! Been there ... done that! More often than I care to count. Though my youngest was a good eater with expensive taste. He always wanted Prime Rib and Caesar Salad!

Julia said...

So funny. Kids are so very unpredictable.

Stephanie Brennan said...

Your kids are more mature than you think. I know of a group of adult men from a cowboy State who traveled to a Northeastern State for business. They rarely leave their State. Their hosts wanted to impress them by taking them to the nicest seafood restaurant in town. They ordered fish. Afterwards they were asked how they enjoyed their dinner. "Well, it was ok, but it tasted like fish." Never get enough mileage out of that. So I enjoyed your story!

RandomHandprints said...

oh that story is fantastic! here's hoping my kid is more mannerly - and descriptive - by the time she grows up!

RandomHandprints said...

true, and yet also, so predictable in their very unpredictableness!

RandomHandprints said...

good point - at least we got off relatively easy. our kids have recently started liking sushi, so i have begun learning about the perils of expensive kid taste (at least they eat the sushi though!)

glad to "meet" a fellow newbie on the grid!

RandomHandprints said...

kids do change eating out, i'd like to think for the better but sometimes... well, it's hard to be all glass half full about the whole thing.

RandomHandprints said...

yes, we rarely go out as well - and even more rarely with all three - this story was with just two!

RandomHandprints said...

thank you - i like knowing it's not just me, and not just my kids!

Mayor Gia said...

Hhahaha good for you for toughing that out for the kids.

Fiona Biedermann said...

The things our children make us do - didn't you feel a little bit like throwing yourself on the floor and having just a little tantrum?

jamieywrites said...

Oh, well... kids will be kids right? with all their antics ;)

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Haha this reminds me of a time when my friend said her chicken tasted "too chicken-y".

TriGirl said...

You could always tell that story at her wedding :)

Angela Shelton said...

HAHA that was precious. Thank you for sharing. I want my fires less fried!

claybaboons said...

And at least you didn't annoy the servers at the upscale place. Ha! Kay is so funny...

Tricia said...

:) great post! It's so funny the things that make kids happy - even when it seems like they're not.

Michelle Longo said...

I have one of those kids who complains that his food is not right - not the right color or shape or size or too cooked or not cooked enough or whatever. Even though it's exactly how he likes it and how it always is. Kids... cute post.

Susan said...

this inevitably happens to me with my 1.5 year old - any time i take him somewhere i'm sure he'll like the food, it ends up on the floor. i should give up and give in to a diet of cookies and goldfish! my sympathy is with you!

Jay - the Dude of the House said...

Tasting too much like a hot dog, I can sort of understand. Especially if it was boiled as most diners make them.

But fries can never be too fried, because even if they were they'd still be great.

Welcome to the YW club!

RandomHandprints said...

Thanks for the warm welcome, happy to be joining the YW club!

RandomHandprints said...

our sons should totally dine together!

RandomHandprints said...

thanks, and yes that one word sums it up nicely... kids

RandomHandprints said...

true, but i would have at least eaten my upscale food unlike some people (not to mention any names!)

RandomHandprints said...

Thanks for coming by!

RandomHandprints said...

Oh I totally should!

RandomHandprints said...

so true. and from what i've heard kids antics are better than the ones from teenagers

RandomHandprints said...

yes! yes! {Thank you.}

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