I still think of this story every year when I go to the post office to buy my holiday stamps.
I'm not much of a holiday-card-sending kinda person, but I send a few.
I asked the teller for Hanukkah stamps. He cheerfully told me they were all out, "Given Larchmont's sizable Jewish population as you know, I'm sure you're not surprised."
Actually, I was completely surprised. First, at the thought of Larchmont having a sizable Jewish population. And second, at the thought of that same sizable Jewish population conspiring to clean-out the local post office of all its Hanukkah stamps by early December.
Undeterred by the shortage of stamps depicting the Festival of Lights, I respond: "I can use any stamps, just as long as they're not Christmas."
Delighted with this information, he suggests "How about Kwanzaa?"
"Sorry," I say, "Any stamps as long as they're not Christmas or Kwanzaa. I really meant anything non-holiday. Don't you usually have snowflakes or snowmen or something like that?"
The postal guy answers, "No, I don't think so. We have all the holidays though. We even have Jihad stamps."
I look at him blankly.
The postal guy continues, "I know you won't want those. To be honest, they're a tough sell. They came out right after 9-11. Bad timing. No one wanted to buy them. A few people did, I think they felt guilty. So they bought the Jihad stamps, but in general, they're not a good seller. Not like the Hanukkah stamps!"
At this point, I just want to leave, with or without stamps, but being a small town post office with a small town feel, the lady in line at the teller next to me says, "Get her the stamps with the man carrying the heart. They're perfect."
As I had very low stamp requirements, I was sure these stamps with the man carrying the heart were indeed perfect.
The postal guy brings me green stamps, with a man carrying a heart, just as suggested.
"Perfect!" I exclaim, delighted to be getting out of this suddenly too-long, too-religious and too-political post office outing, when my friendly postal line neighbor looks over and barks, "Not the green ones! Those aren't the right ones! It has to be the red ones!"
Without consulting me, the teller then goes frantically from bay to bay looking for the "red ones."
At the last bay, he grabs a strip, and shouts to me "These are the last ones! You got here just in time!"
Yes, I thought to myself.... just in time.
34 comments:
This makes me feel like I need to consider very carefully the available stamp options at my next purchase. I've been taking whatever they give me, so surely I'm getting the cast asunders from other people!
OMG that's so funny -
no def not the jihad stamps....definitely not
This was so funny. Didn't they have flowers? We usually get flower stamps here.
I know - flowers would be totally fine! Perhaps the winter solstice celebrating population had already cleaned-out all those :)
bad sellers those jihad stamps, very bad sellers...
Fascinating. Jihad stamps? What would they look like? I live in a small town too. I will ask my postmaster if they have any. That seems ill-conceived even before 9/11, much less after. Funny story!
The postmaster was confused they were Eid stamps, another winter holiday! Thanks for stopping by!
Hahaha, what an odd encounter. Glad you god some good ones.
Bahahaha! I'm cracking up! Who knew you could have such an awkward moment at the post office?
See, these are the types of encounters that keep me from going out in public. Haha!
What a funny encounter. I hope post office experience in Malaysia would be as entertaining LOL
Wow...what a trip to the post office! Never a dull moment, huh? ha!
They actually make jihad stamps?? Funny post.
Wonderful post - and I feel bad now that I just randomly buy stamps and don't think to ask to see my choices.
nope, no jihad stamps - they're actually eid stamps!
yep, reminds me why i like to never leave home :) thanks for coming by.
you and me both!
SO awkward. I'm never making small talk again!
At least you didn't have to leave the post office with those god awful green stamps! Yikes! lol
I almost can't remember the last time I bought stamps. I used to collect plate blocks, but in this electronic age, I don't remember the last time.
WG
http://itsmynd.com
When are they going to make "Merry Kwanzmakah" stamps and kill three birds with one stone?
Okay, wow. Jihad stamps? And...was he totally naive or joking when he told you about them? I am astonished! I LOVED that bossypants in the line beside you - she had clearly had enough of his bumbling!
Great post. Glad you got your stamps!
i think that is probably the sane approach to stamp purchasing!
i know! talk about crisis averted!
Thank you! Now, that is a smart solution.
I think he had confused the word jihad with the word eid - another winter holiday, with the result being this totally surreal encounter.
Hilarious! That is quite the selection. And who knew picking out stamps could be so volatile?
I'm sorry, the WHAT stamps? Did you say Jihad? I'm so confused... I buy a zillion generic forever stamps and use those. I can't be bothered being seasonally appropriate with stamps! You are a more patient person than I am!
So sad that he confused Eid with Jihad. I've purchased those a few times because they are so beautiful.
We have a negative connotation of Jihad, for obvious reasons. But most people consider it more like a pilgrimage - literally struggle. I learned all this from a student named Jihad - which I thought was a horrid name. Until he explained the difficult birth his mother had, and how they were praising Allah that she and the baby made it through.
Sad, sad commentary on our ethnocentric society! I say next time go for the roll of forever stamps- forget the holidays.
very true and very good advice!
i think that is often the case - a word with no intrinsic negative implications can be given them. and yes, the eid stamps are beautiful, if misunderstood.
oh i learned my lesson! generic forever stamps for now on at our house. thanks for stopping by.
who knew exactly. i'm buying my stamps online for now on. thanks for coming by!
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