I’m writing this with tears in my eyes, my fam and I have been vacationing in Nigeria, unfortunately we were robbed at the park of the hotel where we stayed, all cash, credit card and cell were stolen off us but luckily we still have our passports and the ability to write runon sentences.
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To locate your kidneys, start by putting your hands on your hips and then sliding up until you feel your ribs. Now if you put your thumbs on your back, that spot is right where your kidneys are. It may be easier if you have someone else make the initial incision. Use dry ice to wrap the kidney. Then and this is important you will need to wrap the dry ice in jewels. I know sounds crazy but this is the important part. Take all of your jewels and as much Currency as will fit in the FedEx Box and send it to my uncle Brad.
Why are you still reading this? Get cutting. For the love of Pete. After all the shit I’ve done for you over the years, your kidney is kind of the least thing I could be asking for.
I received this email today from my brother. Luckily, he and his family are totally OK.