Monday, January 9, 2012

Instructions for My Husband: Please leave the empty water bottles out on water delivery day

Please remember to leave the empty water bottles out for collection on water delivery day. Because if you don't leave them out, they don't get picked-up. And yet, the new water bottles are still delivered. And even though we are no longer living in our dollhouse-sized Manhattan apartment, unless you want to build a water bunker we still don't have room for all the old water bottles AND all the new water bottles (and me) to coexist happily in our suburban home.

It is especially important to remember to leave the empty water bottles on on days when your super-awesome wife somehow manages to remember herself and reminds you ever so nicely, "Dearest husband, please don't forget to leave the water bottles outside. After all, it is water day tomorrow."

And, it is especially, especially important to to leave the empty water bottles out when your sweet and lovely wife reminds you AGAIN "My beloved husband, just wanted to make sure you knew that today is the day the water guy comes."

And you say, "Don't worry. I got it."

Well, the empty bottles are still here. Along with their four new friends, the new, full water bottles.

And what really annoys me the most is that in addition to the insanely large stockpile of water bottles you insist we hoard at all the times, you have also written into our delivery order that four bottles must be left at all times, even if no bottles are returned. 

All this means that we are now going to have to live in a water bottle factory until the next delivery. Assuming, of course, that you remember to leave the empies out then. And that is really annoying.

So, please.... leave the water bottles out on delivery day. Especially when I remind you to do it, and y'know, "you got it."

This is the twenty-seventh instruction in my ongoing series of Instructions for My Husband.


Mike said...

Unfortunately, men's brains don't work the way they are supposed to. It should be enough to say, "Don't forget to do such-and-such," but it's not.

I've owned fish for the passed 2 or 3 years, and I still almost forget to feed them in the morning before work, even though I've been doing it every single day. As I am walking out the door, someone can say, "Don't forget to feed your fish before you go," then I'll walk into the fish room and forget what I went in there for.

The best way to remind a man to do something is to tape a note to whatever he will use (a note on the front door at eye level with his name written on it (or maybe says "BEER!") will catch his attention as he leaves for work). A note is the perfect reminder not only when he sees it, but when he gets to where he was going he'll be able to read it again if he forgets what he was doing.

In my case, I leave a note on my computer monitor where the power button is that reminds me to feed the fish.

Just a warning: a man might put the note down somewhere and not be able to find it again. Such is the way of man.

Elizabeth-FlourishinProgress said...

Put them on his side of the bed. That's what I do whenever Harv leaves something out that I've repeatedly asked him to put away or pick up.

Also, did I mention that I'm extremely mature?

Anna Sandler said...

Great idea, but it will never work - my huz would be all like yay, i finally get to sleep with my one true love, the water bottles! It's sad, but totally true.

Holly said...

Clearly I can relate:

RandomHandprints said...

too funny!

Queen of Savings said...

Stopping by from the Finding the Funny Party!

Anna said...

That's awesome! Sounds like our husbands might have some things in common... :)

Thanks for linking up to finding the funny!

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