Jill Smoker (a.k.a. Scary Mommy) has a hilarious new book out: Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies) and it got me to thinking what was the biggest "mommy myth" I was told?
For me, the most vicious lie was from the numerous people who told me:
"It will be no problem for your toddler to share a room with the new baby."
To which I now know I should have replied to with a maniacal "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" laugh.
When my not quite two-year-old daughter Magpie was given her new roommate, Baby Kay, it was a disaster from Day 1.
We had a small two-bedroom apartment in New York City, and we were determined to make this work. There weren't exactly a lot of alternatives. Our bedroom was too small to include a crib, which left the hall, the living room, and the kitchen as the only other options. (Yes, I do know New Yorkers who have utilized all of the above, as well as the bathroom and the closet, but I didn't want to be one of them.)
So we tried everything to make the little ladies work out as roomies.
We put the baby to sleep, and snuck the toddler in.
We put the toddler to sleep, and snuck the baby in.
We put them to sleep simultaneous, each parent with their assigned charge.
Nothing worked. You know what our kids thought of sharing a room?
Maniacal "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." laughter.
Eventually, when every bed permutation had been explored, every partition option from hanging sheets to folding screens to strategically placed bookshelves did not work, we just moved the baby's crib into the living room, and took to spending the evenings in our bedroom.
And when the baby woke-up every time we tried to walk thought the living room to the kitchen, we moved the baby's crib back into the girls' bedroom, and moved the toddler to the sofa. It sounded so tacky to say our kid slept on the sofa that we tried to put a high-class gloss on it by referring to the sofa as "slumby." For a year, Magpie slept on slumby and peace reigned in our apartment.
Eventually the girls did learn to share a room, but it was never at any point in the transition "no problem."
And that's not the only vicious lie! Head over to Keesha's awesome blog Mom's New Stage and find out how disciplining her kids is getting the better of her, when uh shouldn't that part of motherhood come naturally, too? Apparently, not so much.
We have two copies of the very funny Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies) to giveaway.
To enter, let us know in the Rafflecopter form below what was the most vicious lie you were told about motherhood?
You can also earn extra entries by following Mom's New Stage, Random Handprints and Scary Mommy on Facebook and Twitter.
And don't forget to visit ScaryMommy.com for your regular dose of Jill as well as hilarious guest posts like Kim Forde's Stranger in a Strange Land (Having A Baby is Just Like Being a Clueless Tourist) and Anna Luther's 10 Unrecognizable Post Baby Parts.
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