Thursday, April 25, 2013

Instructions for my husband: A four-year-old should not know her little sister's school schedule better than you do.

I know it's hard to keep all of our kids' schedules straight, being as there's both of them, but if Magpie (who is four) can do it, I think you can, too. Or at least do it a little bit better than your current abilities.

But that is not really my point.

My point is that if we have a conversation that goes like this at breakfast:

Instruction-needing Husband: "Have a nice day at school, girls."
Magpie: "Daddy, it's Wednesday. Only I go to school on Wednesdays. Kay doesn't."
Kay: "Me no school today. Me school tomorrow."
Instruction-needing Husband: "Wow, I really have no idea of anything going on with them, do I?"
Awesomest Wife Ever: "I know it's complicated. Magpie goes to school five days, and Kay goes four days - every day but Wednesday. It's a lot to keep straight."

And again, let me remind you, I'm totally fine with the conversation above, I'm sure it is hard to keep their wildly divergent schedules straight, but what I'm not okay with is the phone conversation we just a few hours later:

Instruction-needing Husband: "So did the girls have a good day at school today?"
Awesomest Wife Ever: "Uh, Magpie did."
Instruction-needing Husband: "Oh, what happened to Kay at school?"
Awesomest Wife Ever: "Nothing. Kay doesn't go to school on Wednesdays."
Instruction-needing Husband: "Oh right, Magpie just told me that this morning."
Awesomest Wife Ever: "Yes, your four-year-old knows when her sister goes to school. And you don't!"

How do you not remember a discussion we just had that morning? Like, three hours earlier? And how hard is it to remember that Kay doesn't have school on Wednesdays?!

Which brings me to something I've been meaning to share with the blog readers out there for a while now, the original purpose of Instructions for My Husband was not so much to leave real instructions or even to complain about my beloved husband, but to provide a written record for which I consider my dear husband to now be responsible for knowing.

So my dear husband - don't tell me I never told you the girls school schedules. Because here it is in blog and white.

This is an old instruction from when I had an entire blog devoted to leaving instructions for my husband. I remembered it today when we had a snafu with the kids' school schedule. I'm not going to say whose fault it was, but let's just say the name rhymes with Wusband.

This is the thirty-first instruction in my ongoing series of Instructions for My Husband.

Have an instruction for your other half? I would love to share it here. Email me at

Who remembers the kids' wacky schedules best at your house?


l.e.s.ter said...

Kelly's response is so cute! Like mother, like daughter when it comes to grammar, huh?

Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Lester, thank you for saying what I am only allowed to think but not say.

Anonymous said...

It's probably a result of her hanging out with "indigenous" people at Thanksgiving.

The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears said...

My husband makes noeffortwhatsoever to put my kids' schedules to memory. My daughter has had violin every Tuesday afternoon for over a year. He texts me every Tuesday during her lesson asking where we are.

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deborah quinn said...

I love these instruction posts not only because I can so totally relate but also because it reminds me about why I'm so tired at the end of the day: I'm remembering all the logistical crap of our kids' lives, which is sort of like be a full-time air traffic controller, at the same time as I'm trying to remember my actual, you know, job. GAAAAHHHH

Rhonda said...

"Let's just say the name belongs with Wusband" Love it! My husband can hardly keep their schedules straight, and they aren't that hard. However, whenever he asks me why I forgot to do Anything around the house, I just tell him I was too busy keeping the kids schedules straight and dropping them off/picking them up on time. And then he quickly stops complaining :)

Lisa said...

Me. I'm the only one that knows the kids' schedule in our house. Despite the fact that a) it doesn't change from week to week, and b) it is written in big bold letters on the calendar. It's the same question every day: "So, what do we have going on tonight?" Grrrrr!

Things That Happen Everyday said...

Hey found you thru Anna from My life and kids. Loved your post and I've been reading your posts going back and I have one weird question. I don't mean anything bad by it just wonder since I'm still new and all the blogging stuff. I read your first blog entry dated August 28, 2007 where you referred to your older daughter as almost 4 and then I read your post from April 25, 2013 where you said your daughter is 4. Of course this is impossible unless you’re got a secret on how to stop time (if yes please share cause my boys are growing up too fast for me). Question is: Can you choose what date to say your blog is published? I thougth this wasn't an option but if it is, would you be so kind as to let me know how? Thanks in advance

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