Sunday, March 20, 2011

Instructions for my Husband: Coffee is either black, or it isn't. Coffee can't be "black with sugar."

When you order coffee, you can order it:

...black
...with milk (or cream, or a variety of other "whiteners")
...with sugar (or Splenda, or a variety of other "sweeteners")
...with milk and sugar
You can not order it "black with sugar." Black means coffee without anything else. So "black with sugar" makes no sense.

I realize you don't drink coffee, and I don't expect you to fully understand the nuances of coffee ordering, but trust me on this, you can't order coffee black with sugar.

And, here in New York, there is an extra twist. You can order "coffee regular," which means you want milk and sugar. You can also order "coffee light" (just milk).  And I am sure there are plenty of other regional variations others can share below.

But black with sugar is not one of them.

If you don't believe me, get a second opinion about coffee "black" vs. "coffee black with sugar" at Answer Girl. Here's her post about this and she even throws in a definition of coffee regular, too.
Anyone else have an opinion on the coffee black debate?

This is my fifth post in my ongoing series of Instructions for my Husband.

6 comments:

Sarah at The Stroller Ballet said...

Ha! I agree with you. Definitely can't order coffee "black with sugar". Especially not in NY. Makes things far too complicated.

disgracingthenation said...

From the Canadalands:

Black - nothing added
Regular - single cream and sugar
Double double - two cream, two sugar
Triple triple - three cream, three sugar
Four by four - four cream, four sugar

Anna said...

thank you for the twice-confirmations of what is black coffee!

and thank you also for letting me know how i should order coffee when i'm in canada(double double)

Elizabeth-Flourish in Progress said...

i think i'm a four by four. or a five by five, if that's allowed.

also, agreed. black is just black. there's no such thing as black with sugar.

mannahattamamma.com said...

so funny...I've never heard this one before. And--confession--when I first moved to NYC, which is now a longass time ago, I ordered coffee black with sugar. What the heck did I know? I was from the 'burbs. Now I'm a coffee w/ 1/2 & 1/2 and no sugar -- but I continue the tradition of nonsensical ordering, my half-half, when I get it from the grocery store, is LOWFAT. Which is, of course, the entire point of half-and-half. Oh the games we play.

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