Friday, February 7, 2014

Instructions for My Husband: If We Are Renovating 'Together' and I'm the One Doing the Actual Work, That Doesn't Make You the 'Supervisor'

I'm thrilled to welcome guest instructor, Rheney Williams!

Here is her instruction for her husband: If We Are Renovating 'Together' and I'm the One Doing the Actual Work, That Doesn't Make You the 'Supervisor.'

I couldn't agree more. Thanks for sharing, Rheney!

My dearest darling husband,

You are my best friend. Nay – you are my other half!

And this is why when we agreed it would be a 'great opportunity' to buy a fixer-upper and renovate the mess out of it, we knew we could handle it because we'd be doing it together, right?

Two equal parts coming together as an awesomely indestructible whole, right?!

And since it's our first house, we'll be able to overcome any difficulty we have with ease and laugh it up as a part of the great 'adventure' that it is, right?!!

Cue the slow-mo shot with the happy, carefree couple bounding together in a lush meadow of daisies and release the doves. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh. So. Many. Things.

I can't remember when you decided you were 'done' with it all but I'm pretty sure the ink was still drying on the mortgage.

Yeah, you remember the mortgage, right, honey? It's that piece of paper that reflects a 'reasonable' purchase price because of all of the concessions for the 'fixing' we decided to do ourselves to save money.

Well, here's the thing: We didn't get a completely finished awesome house at a great price. We got a dump for a great price that we get to turn into an awesome house. And that nasty carpet and the teal laminate countertops aren't going to replace themselves.

But let's back up. I'm the first to give credit where it's due so let's do a quick recap on your contributions, shall we?

You did a bang-up job on painting the ceilings. They are all fresh and white and just wonderful. And your shoulders look ah-mazing! But...are you going to get the edges?

'Of course! Don't you worry; I'll take care of it!'

And you did. With a big fat roller. That left little smears all over my painstakingly cut-in walls around the entire room. That I now have to spend another afternoon of my life that I will never get back re-painting, and oh look, there's not enough paint in the can to re-do the whole room. So now I also have to schlepp it back to the paint store. Thanks for that.

Next time, do the edges with a brush.

But there's also our hardwood floors that we needed to bring inside to acclimate to the inside temperature before we could install them. When it came time to opening the boxes to let the wood breathe, what did you say?

'Of course! Don't you worry; I'll take care of it!'

And you did. At the end of a long day when you were tired and wanted to wrap up so you rushed through the box-opening process.

Only you ripped into every box like a rabid gorilla and now we have six boxes of extra hardwood flooring taking up space on my side of the garage (yours is spotless, of course) sitting atop shredded pieces of cardboard that we can't return because you deemed it appropriate to reenact a scene from 'Planet of the Apes.'

Truly outstanding. Good lookin' out.

Next time, don't try to do something with expensive materials when you're tired.

But the kitchen backsplash tiling situation truly takes the cake. This is the task that I took on so you could get a break from all of the hard projects.

And here you come waltzing in after a nice, long, relaxing jog on the treadmill that I haven't been able to use since last summer and you have the nerve to comment on the tile? No sir.

'Why do you keep leaving everything a mess?' Like you, I've never done this before, so I'm sorry that I had to go the store five times to get all 42 things you need to slap some tiles on a kitchen wall.

'Are you sure this tile was the way to go?' Actually, no, I wanted something very different but this was the best choice for the money that you insisted we stop spending even though this project was always in the budget.

'Why don't you try cutting them a different way?' Oh, I don't know – maybe because I'm the one who actually read the manual (three times) so that I could put together a saw and know exactly how to adjust it. And perhaps because marble is a 'soft' stone which means it will chip if it isn't cut just so.

'Should this be taking so long?' Really? That's what you're asking? Because the answer is: 'No. No it should not be taking this long. And it wouldn't be if you were pulling your half of the weight.'

And another thing, buddy, since when did you become a tiling expert? If you're not offering to actually help, you don't get to offer helpful 'tips' and suggestions on how I could be doing things better.

So seriously, either pick up a trowel and get to grouting or pipe down!

Love you, honey!! Can't wait for our next project!!


Rheney Williams is a DIY woman on a mission who readily acknowledges that she couldn't Do-It-Herself without the support of her wonderful husband, Stephen. In addition to writing about projects for Home Depot, Rheney and Stephen are 'jointly' updating their home. Wherever you live, The Home Depot has a store near you with knowledgeable associates available to help with one-on-one advice for projects large and small.

1 comment:

PDabbs said...

I do feel where you guys are coming from. I think that, if a couple decides to do a renovation together, no one should be bossing the other around. If there is one doing the actual work, the other one should not just stand around and boss, they can help in the smaller things. It has to be a collaboration and not an assignment. :)
Paul Dabbs

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