Yesterday I posted a photo my daughter Magpie took last year at our town's Memorial Day parade.
Shortly after the parade, my phone went missing. A new phone was purchased, which coincidentally was recently stolen by my son Ziggy and his kindy photos were last week's Wordless Wednesday. The photos and the old phone were forgotten about as we moved on with our busy lives.
In phone miracles, last week the old phone re-appeared from beneath the seats of the car which we had already searched 1,000 times. Clearly, I now have no choice but to believe in spontaneous generation because any other option is impossible - I am a really good stuff-finder now that I'm a mom.
Regardless of how it got here, the old phone has some great photos taken by my six-year-old that we had thought were gone forever. I'm glad they reappeared.
And now kids, you've had your fun. It's time to leave mommy's phone alone.
PS: Smart people - is spontaneous generation the correct word to use to describe my phone's reappearance? I'm thinking not, but couldn't figure out the right term. Transformation didn't seem quite right either. Help?
A humor parenting blog with a focus on family travel and great things to do with kids in New York and New Jersey.
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Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Leaving the Memorial Day Parade
My daughter Magpie took this photo on my phone at the Mamaroneck Village Memorial Day parade last year. It seems stealing mommy's phone runs in the family.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Instructions for my husband: We are not buying our daughters' Skechers
I know we probably should have had this discussion before we were in the midst of a full-scale meltdown in the shoe store, but our daughters' don't wear Skechers. I don't have a lot of rules I impose on the family - you know I am pretty much a free to be you and me kinda mom - but I am imposing this one:
And this is why: Because Skechers is selling SHAPE UP SHOES TO GIRLS. AS YOUNG AS SEVEN.
And we don't support that kind of anti-kid, anti-feminist, anti-human bullshit.
I looked around online, and couldn't find one review that argued that shape ups even work, so the company's fitness claims seem weak at best. And if the shoes had an exercise advantage, why are Skecher shape-ups only being sold to girls, and not to boys?
I am willing to reconsider this position if Skechers stops selling those shoes whose inappropriateness is only rivaled by the padded girls bikini from Abercombie. (We don't shop there either.)
If you also think Skechers shouldn't be selling Shape Ups to girls, please sign this petition from Change.org. Not sure what you think? Watch the Skechers commercial:
This is my seventeenth instruction for my husband in my ongoing series Instructions for My Husband.
Do you impose any family boycotts? Would you buy your daughter Skechers Shape Ups?
NO SKECHERS.
And this is why: Because Skechers is selling SHAPE UP SHOES TO GIRLS. AS YOUNG AS SEVEN.
And we don't support that kind of anti-kid, anti-feminist, anti-human bullshit.
I looked around online, and couldn't find one review that argued that shape ups even work, so the company's fitness claims seem weak at best. And if the shoes had an exercise advantage, why are Skecher shape-ups only being sold to girls, and not to boys?
I am willing to reconsider this position if Skechers stops selling those shoes whose inappropriateness is only rivaled by the padded girls bikini from Abercombie. (We don't shop there either.)
If you also think Skechers shouldn't be selling Shape Ups to girls, please sign this petition from Change.org. Not sure what you think? Watch the Skechers commercial:
This is my seventeenth instruction for my husband in my ongoing series Instructions for My Husband.
Do you impose any family boycotts? Would you buy your daughter Skechers Shape Ups?
Friday, May 27, 2011
Five things I won't be doing this summer
With my kids quoting to me daily the countdown of days left of school, I am beginning to feel the pressure of Summer Vacation looming. I want the kids to have a fun summer. I also want me to have a fun summer.
I want us to have a fun summer.
So I'm resolving today, as Memorial Day Weekend kicks-off, that I won't be doing any of the following things this summer:
1. I won't be doing the dishes. That's right, I'm taking the summer off. We're going to eat on paper plates for the whole, entire summer. Yes, I know this will have a bad impact on the environment. Mother Earth - I'll get you back in the fall, I promise.
2. I won't be tracking anyone's screen-time. I'm usually strict about how much screen-time my kids get - and we essentially don't have any TV, Wii or DS during the school week. On the weekend, I go through endless machinations to be sure the older ones don't watch TV when the toddler is around (I don't like him to watch any TV at all). And even my husband drives me crazy when he leaves the TV on and watches Infomercials. But not this summer. Watch, click and drive whatever you want. But when school starts, I'm back to my usual Draconian policies.
3. I won't be online very much. Living here in the Northeast, we only have so many nice days, and most of them occur between Memorial Day and Labor Day. I'm going to spend them outside, cultivating my fledgling garden and hanging with my kids, hopefully poolside much of the time. Twitter - I'll be back to my obsessive ways come September.
4. I won't be taking on any major home improvement projects. We moved last July, and my quest to unpack and have everything just-so in our new home completely consumed me for the entire summer. And here I am a year later, still with boxes to unpack, closets to unstuff and lights to install. So anything still undone can wait a little longer. It will all still be there when summer ends.
And last..
5. I won't be feeling guilty about any of these things I'm not doing. Life is long, but summer is short.
What won't you be doing this summer?
Thinking about summer has put me in a nostalgic mood for my childhood ones. I'm posting 1970s photos all weekend long on Facebook for your holiday amusement.
I want us to have a fun summer.
So I'm resolving today, as Memorial Day Weekend kicks-off, that I won't be doing any of the following things this summer:
1. I won't be doing the dishes. That's right, I'm taking the summer off. We're going to eat on paper plates for the whole, entire summer. Yes, I know this will have a bad impact on the environment. Mother Earth - I'll get you back in the fall, I promise.
2. I won't be tracking anyone's screen-time. I'm usually strict about how much screen-time my kids get - and we essentially don't have any TV, Wii or DS during the school week. On the weekend, I go through endless machinations to be sure the older ones don't watch TV when the toddler is around (I don't like him to watch any TV at all). And even my husband drives me crazy when he leaves the TV on and watches Infomercials. But not this summer. Watch, click and drive whatever you want. But when school starts, I'm back to my usual Draconian policies.
3. I won't be online very much. Living here in the Northeast, we only have so many nice days, and most of them occur between Memorial Day and Labor Day. I'm going to spend them outside, cultivating my fledgling garden and hanging with my kids, hopefully poolside much of the time. Twitter - I'll be back to my obsessive ways come September.
4. I won't be taking on any major home improvement projects. We moved last July, and my quest to unpack and have everything just-so in our new home completely consumed me for the entire summer. And here I am a year later, still with boxes to unpack, closets to unstuff and lights to install. So anything still undone can wait a little longer. It will all still be there when summer ends.
And last..
5. I won't be feeling guilty about any of these things I'm not doing. Life is long, but summer is short.
What won't you be doing this summer?
Thinking about summer has put me in a nostalgic mood for my childhood ones. I'm posting 1970s photos all weekend long on Facebook for your holiday amusement.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
My Day at the New York BlogWorld & New Media Expo and BookExpo America, Too
I had a great day at BlogWorld today. I heard a bunch of fantastic speakers including one of my favorite bloggers Heather Solos, who writes Home Ec 101. I was lucky enough to meet her in person, and she was nice enough to explain to me how to attach my conference badge to my lanyard, 'cause she's awesome like that and honestly, she really does know everything.
I also spent some time over at BookExpo America, and while it was a little overwhelming for me as a first time visitor, there is something very special about being around endless aisles of books and the people who love them. The bibliophile in me was very grateful for this experience. (Memo to self: Find more time to read!)
I was so happy to meet some of the bloggers I know online in person finally, like Corine from Complicated Mama, Elise from Here in this House and Thien-Kim from I'm Not the Nanny.
I was also very glad to catch-up with Maria from New York Mom and Holly from The Culture Mom who I wish I saw more often.
Maria and I did the rounds at BookExpo where one of the highlights was meeting Olivia:
We also had a chance to talk to the lovely Megan McDonald, who writes the Judy Moody books, about the upcoming film release of Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer:
I also spent some time over at BookExpo America, and while it was a little overwhelming for me as a first time visitor, there is something very special about being around endless aisles of books and the people who love them. The bibliophile in me was very grateful for this experience. (Memo to self: Find more time to read!)
I was so happy to meet some of the bloggers I know online in person finally, like Corine from Complicated Mama, Elise from Here in this House and Thien-Kim from I'm Not the Nanny.
I was also very glad to catch-up with Maria from New York Mom and Holly from The Culture Mom who I wish I saw more often.
Maria and I did the rounds at BookExpo where one of the highlights was meeting Olivia:
We also had a chance to talk to the lovely Megan McDonald, who writes the Judy Moody books, about the upcoming film release of Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer:
I snapped a paparazzi-light photo of Jordana Beatty, who plays Judy Moody in the movie, signing posters. My daughters were delighted with the copy I brought home for them.
Last stop was to visit Holly and the Ruckus Media booth:
More to come about everything else I saw and heard, so much incredible information and so many amazing people!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Glad I Saw It: The World Through My Son's Eyes {Worldess Wednesday}
My toddler son stole my phone. And took a bunch of photos. I love seeing his world.
Note: Although I love seeing my son's world's-eye-view, I also would like to see the rest of the photos I have taken in the last month or so. But those are now deleted. Thanks a lot, kid.
Mutterschwester is the originator of Glad I Saw It. And her recent post Glad We Met: My Grocery Store Buddy is a can't miss read.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
What I'm thinking about on Sunday Night
Sunday night is usually a lazy one for me. I catch-up on my emails and blog reading, as well as whatever is on the DVR (which lately, isn't much).
I think to myself this is going to be the week I become one of *those* moms. I'm gonna set the table for breakfast before I go to bed tonight! And tomorrow, I'm gonna set the table for dinner before the kids get home from school!
But I'm not one of *those* moms. And thankfully, Sellabit Mum isn't either. Her post Where Mother Earth Gets Pissed Off... is a hilarious description of how her September lunch-making ideals morphed into her May realities. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.
Other things going on at our place last week:
Then I spent way too long looking for a photo of myself in my satin jacket. And here I am, wearing the jacket and playing miniature golf in the summer of 1979.
This week, I'm looking forward to the return of sunshine and hopefully a trip to a beach or a pool for Memorial Day Weekend. And clearly, I need to play a round of miniature golf. And you?
I think to myself this is going to be the week I become one of *those* moms. I'm gonna set the table for breakfast before I go to bed tonight! And tomorrow, I'm gonna set the table for dinner before the kids get home from school!
But I'm not one of *those* moms. And thankfully, Sellabit Mum isn't either. Her post Where Mother Earth Gets Pissed Off... is a hilarious description of how her September lunch-making ideals morphed into her May realities. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.
Other things going on at our place last week:
- It rained too much. Like, every day. My son and I jumped in puddles. He learned what an umbrella was, and he and his sisters used them to become toadstools. In the rain.
- My husband and I debated which was more annoying, his Beatboxing or my singing of "Apples and Bananas." (Current status: Draw)
- I demystified the origin of pickles. (Spoiler alert: pickles do not grown on trees)
- I explained to my husband how to wash raspberries. And Michelle explained to me that you have to wash mangoes and watermelons, and every other fruit, too. (Who knew?)
Then I spent way too long looking for a photo of myself in my satin jacket. And here I am, wearing the jacket and playing miniature golf in the summer of 1979.
I'm also rocking the Dr. Scholl's and a fine pair of terry cloth shorts with the itty alligator and a rainbow stripe.
This week, I'm looking forward to the return of sunshine and hopefully a trip to a beach or a pool for Memorial Day Weekend. And clearly, I need to play a round of miniature golf. And you?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Handprint Crafts for June - Graduations, Flag Day and Father's Day
It's June and the crafting is easy with grads and dads to celebrate, as well as the grand ol' flag. And yes, I've found handprint crafts to share for all these holidays. You can also check some of the previous handprint craft posts for suns, flowers and other fun crafts for summertime.
For many families, June brings a graduation or a "moving up' ceremony. I love this personalized graduation certificate from Makes and Takes, made with a child's handprint. This project is easy enough to make at school with every child in the class, or at home for a family keepsake:
Flag Day is on Saturday, June 14. This holiday commemorating the adoption of the 13-star version of the Flag of the United States in 1777 (the 50-star version was adopted on July 4, 1960) is the perfect time to make a handprint flag with your own little patriots:
You can also make a flag with handprints and footprints. Serendipity has great instructions for making this patriotic masterpiece:
Father's Day is Sunday, June 15, and I love combining the handprint theme with the sentiment "Best Dad, Hands Down" on everything from tee shirts to ceramic tiles to greeting cards.
Roots and Wings Co. has a version on canvas,which is explained in great detail, but to be honest, still seems like it would be a lot of work for a regular person like me to create. Still, it looks so good it would be worth the effort. I'm planning to give it my best mom-try with the kids.
I also love this Father's Day Hand Print Sun Catcher. The Homeschool Classroom has very detailed instructions, and a reminder for along the way that it's the process not the product. So true in life in general, and especially when crafting with kids.
Happy June, happy handprint crafts, and happy summer!
Have other great crafts to share? Please leave your links in the comments below.
For many families, June brings a graduation or a "moving up' ceremony. I love this personalized graduation certificate from Makes and Takes, made with a child's handprint. This project is easy enough to make at school with every child in the class, or at home for a family keepsake:
Photo from MakesandTakes.com |
Photo from LessonPlansPage.com |
Photo from Serendipity |
Roots and Wings Co. has a version on canvas,which is explained in great detail, but to be honest, still seems like it would be a lot of work for a regular person like me to create. Still, it looks so good it would be worth the effort. I'm planning to give it my best mom-try with the kids.
Photo from Roots and Wings Co. |
Happy June, happy handprint crafts, and happy summer!
Have other great crafts to share? Please leave your links in the comments below.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Instructions for my husband: Please cease all forms, variations and sounds generally known as "beatboxing"
I know it's fun for you. And I know you think you sound really cool. But here's the thing: you don't. I think, much like a cappella, nothing can be done to make beatboxing sound good. It is just a really annoying medium. (Unless you're Matisyahu, but you aren't.)
So seriously, if you could just never beatbox again, that would be like so great, thanks! Or - and L.E.S.ter will appreciate this - I will be forced to sing "Apples and Bananas" the entire way through just to tie things up between us in the irritating Olympics. For those of you not familiar with this classic, truly annoying song, here is Rafi singing it:
And here are the lyrics so you can sing along:
Apples and Bananas
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
A
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
E
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
I
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
O
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
U
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos
And you, my beloved husband, are going to start hearing this song all day and all night. That's right, all. the. time.
Or, you could just stop beatboxing.
This is my sixteenth instruction in my ongoing series Instructions for my Husband.
So seriously, if you could just never beatbox again, that would be like so great, thanks! Or - and L.E.S.ter will appreciate this - I will be forced to sing "Apples and Bananas" the entire way through just to tie things up between us in the irritating Olympics. For those of you not familiar with this classic, truly annoying song, here is Rafi singing it:
And here are the lyrics so you can sing along:
Apples and Bananas
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
A
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
E
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
I
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
O
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
U
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos
And you, my beloved husband, are going to start hearing this song all day and all night. That's right, all. the. time.
Or, you could just stop beatboxing.
This is my sixteenth instruction in my ongoing series Instructions for my Husband.
Now tell me, is there anything more annoying than beatboxing?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
(Almost) Worldess Wednesday: Ziggy the Puddle Jumper
My son Ziggy, like many (most?) toddlers is puddle obsessed. Lucky for him we have a perma-puddle in our back yard where there is a nice little mud pit despite my arduous efforts to eradicate it with grass.
When Ziggy sees the giant puddle at his sisters' school he goes completely and utterly bonkers.
And for once, I decided to be a good sport, and jumped on it along with him.
I have no idea what the other moms thought about this, but my kid found it hilarious and I guess that's all that matters anyway.
And you? Do you puddle jump or puddle avoid?
Monday, May 16, 2011
Instructions for my Husband: Pickles do not grow on trees
Even the cucumbers from which the pickles come do not grow on trees. They also do not grow underground, though that was an excellent second guess. In fact, cucumbers grow on vines. As they did in our very own garden last summer. (The garden is the patch of vegetation surrounded by a very low square wall on the right-hand-side directly next to the garage.) See photo to left.
And no matter how emphatically you claimed that was "what you meant," there's no way you can convince me a vine is a tree.
And last, while we're on the subject, pickles aren't made by putting cucumbers in pickle juice. They're made by putting cucumbers in brine.
This is my fifteenth post in my ongoing series Instructions for My Husband.
And no matter how emphatically you claimed that was "what you meant," there's no way you can convince me a vine is a tree.
And last, while we're on the subject, pickles aren't made by putting cucumbers in pickle juice. They're made by putting cucumbers in brine.
This is my fifteenth post in my ongoing series Instructions for My Husband.
If your kids loved Silly Bandz they are gonna go crazy for RadRingz!
Last weekend we got a box in the mail. With my blogging gig my kids have gotten a little too used to unexpected stuff arriving in the mail for them. So they didn't even care that much about what was inside The Box.
That was until we opened The Box.
Inside The Box were several packs of RadRingz, the latest offering from SillyBrandz Global who also make Silly Bandz, which my daughters were and still are obsessed with collecting.
To put it mildly, they flipped out. Kay and Magpie deemed RadRingz "awesome," "perfect," and perhaps the ultimate compliment: "these are even cooler then Silly Bandz. Seriously."
Like Silly Bandz, RadRingz encourage collecting with each Ring Pack containing a two-finger ring with three interchangeable inserts that can be used to create different styles. Kay (Kindergarten) tried the Princess Ring Pack ($6.95), which is "inspired by today’s teen celebrities."
Magpie (second grade) eagerly chose the Rock Ring Pack ($6.95), which has Rock 'n' Roll themed inserts which "offer a variety of messages and images perfect for displaying your rocker personality."
Both girls generously agreed that Hipster ($6.95) should be given to their Uncle E. It is a perfect choice for him as this pack is "inspired by the independent style of today’s young artists and will make your look trendy and cutting edge." What else would a Brooklyn hipster want?
That was until we opened The Box.
Inside The Box were several packs of RadRingz, the latest offering from SillyBrandz Global who also make Silly Bandz, which my daughters were and still are obsessed with collecting.
To put it mildly, they flipped out. Kay and Magpie deemed RadRingz "awesome," "perfect," and perhaps the ultimate compliment: "these are even cooler then Silly Bandz. Seriously."
Like Silly Bandz, RadRingz encourage collecting with each Ring Pack containing a two-finger ring with three interchangeable inserts that can be used to create different styles. Kay (Kindergarten) tried the Princess Ring Pack ($6.95), which is "inspired by today’s teen celebrities."
Magpie (second grade) eagerly chose the Rock Ring Pack ($6.95), which has Rock 'n' Roll themed inserts which "offer a variety of messages and images perfect for displaying your rocker personality."
Both girls generously agreed that Hipster ($6.95) should be given to their Uncle E. It is a perfect choice for him as this pack is "inspired by the independent style of today’s young artists and will make your look trendy and cutting edge." What else would a Brooklyn hipster want?
I received several RadRingz packs to review, and my kids (ages five and seven) thought they were the greatest invention since, uh, Silly Bandz. I'm also an affiliate.
Please note when buying, the rings come in six sizes (youth to adult) so measure to ensure you get the right fit for the princess, rock star or hipster in your life.
Please note when buying, the rings come in six sizes (youth to adult) so measure to ensure you get the right fit for the princess, rock star or hipster in your life.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Instructions for my husband: You have to wash raspberries before eating them.
Photo from TheRaspberryPatch.com |
You do not have to wash bananas, melons or other fruit with a rind or other similar protective casing. Like a mango, you don't have to wash a mango.
And last, you need to wash raspberries, and other fruit, every single time. Especially when you're feeding it to kids. And extra-especially when you're feeding it to our kids. Seriously. Every f&^ing time.
This is my fourteenth post in my ongoing series Instructions for My Husband.
Misery loves company - if you would like to share an instruction for your husband please email me at anna@randomhandprints.com.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Taking A Step Back in Time at My Local Hardware Store
Where I live has a total small-town vibe even though it's just miles from the wonder that is Manhattan.
I've become a regular at my local hardware store, where I like to ask endless questions of the patient and knowledgeable owner. His family has had the store for three generations, and I imagine he runs the place just like his father, and grandfather, did before him.
It is here that my husband bought me my beloved clean-air push reel mower. And it is here that we have bought rakes and hoes and all the other items required of our new suburban life as wannabe-Amish farmers. And here that I had answered 101 questions about what kind of grass seed I should buy. And how to plant the grass seed. And how to water the grass seed. And of course, how to mow the grass should it eventually grow.
I like going to this place. For the chats with the owner. And for the total anachronism.
I've become a regular at my local hardware store, where I like to ask endless questions of the patient and knowledgeable owner. His family has had the store for three generations, and I imagine he runs the place just like his father, and grandfather, did before him.
It is here that my husband bought me my beloved clean-air push reel mower. And it is here that we have bought rakes and hoes and all the other items required of our new suburban life as wannabe-Amish farmers. And here that I had answered 101 questions about what kind of grass seed I should buy. And how to plant the grass seed. And how to water the grass seed. And of course, how to mow the grass should it eventually grow.
I like going to this place. For the chats with the owner. And for the total anachronism.
Yes, the Juice-O-Mat is for sale. And as my friend at Mutterschwester would say, I'm Glad I Saw It.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Instructions for My Husband: Do not put Forrest Gump on the TV and then leave the room.
As we've discussed previously offline, but to my surprise has not yet been formalized here as an instruction, when you leave the TV on and then exit the room and plan to be gone longer then ten minutes, please tell me.
That way I know I can change the channel on the TV. Otherwise, I sit here watching something I have no interest in watching, and you're not even watching it.
Minutes of my precious life pass by when I could be watching Project Runway, True Blood or RHONY instead of Cops or Forrest Gump.
And while we're on the subject of your television viewing habits, I could happily live another three lifetimes without ever seeing again Avatar, Shallow Hal or the one with Tom Hanks on an island. Honestly.
Do your husband's television viewing habits drive you crazy? Does he watch the same shows over and over again, too?
This is my thirteenth post in my ongoing series Instructions for My Husband. And yes, I couldn't be more delighted this thirteenth post is posting on Friday the Thirteenth.
That way I know I can change the channel on the TV. Otherwise, I sit here watching something I have no interest in watching, and you're not even watching it.
Minutes of my precious life pass by when I could be watching Project Runway, True Blood or RHONY instead of Cops or Forrest Gump.
And while we're on the subject of your television viewing habits, I could happily live another three lifetimes without ever seeing again Avatar, Shallow Hal or the one with Tom Hanks on an island. Honestly.
Do your husband's television viewing habits drive you crazy? Does he watch the same shows over and over again, too?
This is my thirteenth post in my ongoing series Instructions for My Husband. And yes, I couldn't be more delighted this thirteenth post is posting on Friday the Thirteenth.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Two Ways of Looking at An Ant
I. My daughter Magpie looks at an ant:
Mom, Magpie asks, can you open the front door for me?
It is freezing cold out. The kind of cold that makes a mom like me think there is no way I'm opening the front door for no good reason.
I inquire further, I could open the door, but why exactly uh would I be opening the door?
Magpie replies: I just gotta let this little guy go, that's all,and she shows me an ant crawling up her arm.
II. My daughter Kay looks at an ant:
Mom!!!! Mom!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alarmed, I run up the stairs to Kay's room.
What's up little bear? I ask with genuine concern.
There is an ANT!!!!!!!!!! On my bed!!!!!!!! Get it! Get it! GET IT!!!!!!!!
I indeed "get it" with a tissue, and it is gone.
All gone, little pie. Not to worry, there's no more ant, I tell her.
She wails back, But Mom, there WAS an ant! An ANT!!! On my bed!! Are you SURE it's gone?
__________________________
I'm linking-up to Finding the Funny at the hilarious Kelley's Breakroom and My Life and Kids.
Feel free to share your ant reactions in the comments below.
Mom, Magpie asks, can you open the front door for me?
It is freezing cold out. The kind of cold that makes a mom like me think there is no way I'm opening the front door for no good reason.
I inquire further, I could open the door, but why exactly uh would I be opening the door?
Magpie replies: I just gotta let this little guy go, that's all,and she shows me an ant crawling up her arm.
II. My daughter Kay looks at an ant:
Mom!!!! Mom!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alarmed, I run up the stairs to Kay's room.
What's up little bear? I ask with genuine concern.
There is an ANT!!!!!!!!!! On my bed!!!!!!!! Get it! Get it! GET IT!!!!!!!!
I indeed "get it" with a tissue, and it is gone.
All gone, little pie. Not to worry, there's no more ant, I tell her.
She wails back, But Mom, there WAS an ant! An ANT!!! On my bed!! Are you SURE it's gone?
__________________________
I'm linking-up to Finding the Funny at the hilarious Kelley's Breakroom and My Life and Kids.
Feel free to share your ant reactions in the comments below.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Scare in the Laundry Room
It was a Tuesday evening, much like any other Tuesday evening at our house. I was in the basement doing the laundry - my husband was upstairs relaxing, watching TV, and generally not doing much of anything.
I reached into the washing machine to select the garments capable of withstanding the harsh environment of the dryer, and to choose the delicate ones which would need to be lovingly hung up on the line to dry, when I saw something creepy. What could it be?
Could it be... a spider in the laundry? And not just any spider, but a giant, creepy, clearly poisonous spider? I peered more closely...
It really was a spider. Ick, double-ick, quadruple-trillion ick. And then, bravely, a final glance...
...Phew. A spider, yes. But a fake spider. I'm not sure which kid is to blame, but I'm just glad to have survived the laundry and to live to wash,dry and fold another night.
Have you ever had a scare in the laundry room?
I'm linking-up to Finding the Funny, because who doesn't like funny?
You can check it out at Kelley's Break Room and My Life and Kids. And you totally should. Unless you don't like funny.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Eight Super Great Things I learned at Bloggy Boot Camp Boston
8. Use Lists in your blog posts. People love lists. This is perfect, because I love lists!
7. Boston is cold. And windy. Even in May. But the locals will be wearing shorts and telling you it's the nicest day of the year. The locals will also be drinking heavily if the Bruins do something everyone kept referring to as sweeping.
6. You should include good photos in your blog posts. Which made me realize my photos are bad.
5. You should not steal other people's good photos. Like The Modchik's good photos. That's even more horrible than just using your own bad photos.
4. Finagle-A-Bagel makes amazing chocolate chip bagels. I don't care if I lose every New York reader for writing this. I LOVE THEM. They are my absolute most favorite bagels in the world. (And I don't care who knows.)
3. I should exercise more, and probably a lot of other bloggers should, too. And it's not just me who thinks this. The Pioneer Woman does too, and I quote: Blogging is an insidiously sedentary activity, and if you blog daily you should take steps to markedly increase your daily movement. Ree, you are so right.
2. Blog friends are real friends. And in my case, my blog friends can drink and fight like realMassholes Bostonians.
And, the number one thing I learned at Bloggy Boot Camp Boston:
1. Tiffany is pretty. For reals.
7. Boston is cold. And windy. Even in May. But the locals will be wearing shorts and telling you it's the nicest day of the year. The locals will also be drinking heavily if the Bruins do something everyone kept referring to as sweeping.
6. You should include good photos in your blog posts. Which made me realize my photos are bad.
5. You should not steal other people's good photos. Like The Modchik's good photos. That's even more horrible than just using your own bad photos.
4. Finagle-A-Bagel makes amazing chocolate chip bagels. I don't care if I lose every New York reader for writing this. I LOVE THEM. They are my absolute most favorite bagels in the world. (And I don't care who knows.)
3. I should exercise more, and probably a lot of other bloggers should, too. And it's not just me who thinks this. The Pioneer Woman does too, and I quote: Blogging is an insidiously sedentary activity, and if you blog daily you should take steps to markedly increase your daily movement. Ree, you are so right.
2. Blog friends are real friends. And in my case, my blog friends can drink and fight like real
And, the number one thing I learned at Bloggy Boot Camp Boston:
1. Tiffany is pretty. For reals.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Mother's Day Reflections
On Friday, both my school-aged kids brought home Mother's Day gifts.
From Kay, I got a lovely orange flower in a very pretty pot with her own paper purple flower planted in the soil as well. Adorable.
And from Magpie, something in a brightly-colored bag that was hidden with much fanfare and admonishments not to go peeking about in her room between then and Sunday. It turned out it was a beautifully painted flower pot with Artic Fire seeds inside that I could plant. Adorable.
It's all very sweet. And of course, being a sentimental type, I am truly touched. But it is all so unnecessary. I am shocked at my own good luck as I reflect on all I have this Mother's Day. I am like the donkey family at the end of Sylvester and the Magic Pebble, when they are all so happy just to be together as a family again.
Honestly, what more could I want this Mother's Day when I have already:
- three kids, two girls and a baby boy. All healthy. All good company. All funny.
- a nice house in a nice town with nice neighbors.
- a husband I can tolerate, and more importantly, a husband who can tolerate me.
- no job! And still, a roof over my head and ample money for low-heeled shoes and high-end chocolates. How many people can say that?
So my dear kids, while this may not be true every year, this year as the Duncan family says "...really, for now, what more could they wish for? They had all that they wanted."
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
I am recycling this post from last year. And scheduling it to auto-post on Mother's Day. 'Cause I'm in Boston at Bloggy Boot Camp with a lot of fantastic bloggers. And I'm grateful for that, too.
From Kay, I got a lovely orange flower in a very pretty pot with her own paper purple flower planted in the soil as well. Adorable.
And from Magpie, something in a brightly-colored bag that was hidden with much fanfare and admonishments not to go peeking about in her room between then and Sunday. It turned out it was a beautifully painted flower pot with Artic Fire seeds inside that I could plant. Adorable.
It's all very sweet. And of course, being a sentimental type, I am truly touched. But it is all so unnecessary. I am shocked at my own good luck as I reflect on all I have this Mother's Day. I am like the donkey family at the end of Sylvester and the Magic Pebble, when they are all so happy just to be together as a family again.
Honestly, what more could I want this Mother's Day when I have already:
- three kids, two girls and a baby boy. All healthy. All good company. All funny.
- a nice house in a nice town with nice neighbors.
- a husband I can tolerate, and more importantly, a husband who can tolerate me.
- no job! And still, a roof over my head and ample money for low-heeled shoes and high-end chocolates. How many people can say that?
So my dear kids, while this may not be true every year, this year as the Duncan family says "...really, for now, what more could they wish for? They had all that they wanted."
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
I am recycling this post from last year. And scheduling it to auto-post on Mother's Day. 'Cause I'm in Boston at Bloggy Boot Camp with a lot of fantastic bloggers. And I'm grateful for that, too.
Happy Mothers Day!
I love this site, but until now I never had anything worthy of submission. I hope they post it!
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
Update: Note was not posted to passiveaggressivenotes.com. If this note isn't passive aggressive, what is?
This photo is from the lobby of my old apartment building on the Upper West Side, May 2008. Lame Mom lived there, too. (I never thought to ask her if she knew who wrote the note.)
This photo is from the lobby of my old apartment building on the Upper West Side, May 2008. Lame Mom lived there, too. (I never thought to ask her if she knew who wrote the note.)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Bloggy Boot Camp and a Bad Case of Bostolgia
Bostolgia is supposed to be a clever combination of the words Boston and Nostalgia, but it didn't come out as well as I had hoped. But I still have it - a bad case of Bostolgia on the eve of my visit to Bean Town tomorrow to attend Bloggy Boot Camp, my first blogger conference.
I lived in Boston for six long, cold years in my twenties and have only been back a few times since leaving over a decade ago for the brighter lights and bigger city of Manhattan. Trips back to Boston have been ones for weddings, birthdays, babies, not for wandering the city trying to re-capture my faded youth. And even this trip, I am going for just a little longer then one day, enough time only for a quick visit to my dear friend's new baby (whose almost one already!) and not enough time to see any of the other Bostonians I would love to see. So, I'll say the same thing I say every time: Next time, for sure.
When I lived in Boston, my roommate and I (we shared a fourth-floor studio walk-up) used to spend most of our time in workout clothes at The Capital Grille, completely incongruous in a stuffy bar frequented almost exclusively by middle-aged men in suits. The bartender always asked, why do you come here? And we'd laugh, telling him we live around the corner. It's the closest bar. We like the Stoli Dolis. It was our true local, even once letting us put our groceries in the bar fridge when we decided to stop in on our way home from the store.
We went back to our old stomping ground about seven years after we both had moved away - me to New York, and she to Mexico City - to see if the place still looked the same. We wondered if our bartender friend would still be there, guessing probably not, and were surprised and happy to see he was there tending the bar when we sat down. We sat heads together, whispering at each other, wondering how dumb we'd sound if we asked if he remembered us, and in the end we didn't ask.When we looked up to place our order, we saw he had already brought us our favorite drinks.
So Boston, I'll be looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, but I doubt I'll be having a Stoli Doli. Next time, for sure.
I lived in Boston for six long, cold years in my twenties and have only been back a few times since leaving over a decade ago for the brighter lights and bigger city of Manhattan. Trips back to Boston have been ones for weddings, birthdays, babies, not for wandering the city trying to re-capture my faded youth. And even this trip, I am going for just a little longer then one day, enough time only for a quick visit to my dear friend's new baby (whose almost one already!) and not enough time to see any of the other Bostonians I would love to see. So, I'll say the same thing I say every time: Next time, for sure.
When I lived in Boston, my roommate and I (we shared a fourth-floor studio walk-up) used to spend most of our time in workout clothes at The Capital Grille, completely incongruous in a stuffy bar frequented almost exclusively by middle-aged men in suits. The bartender always asked, why do you come here? And we'd laugh, telling him we live around the corner. It's the closest bar. We like the Stoli Dolis. It was our true local, even once letting us put our groceries in the bar fridge when we decided to stop in on our way home from the store.
We went back to our old stomping ground about seven years after we both had moved away - me to New York, and she to Mexico City - to see if the place still looked the same. We wondered if our bartender friend would still be there, guessing probably not, and were surprised and happy to see he was there tending the bar when we sat down. We sat heads together, whispering at each other, wondering how dumb we'd sound if we asked if he remembered us, and in the end we didn't ask.When we looked up to place our order, we saw he had already brought us our favorite drinks.
So Boston, I'll be looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, but I doubt I'll be having a Stoli Doli. Next time, for sure.
Looking forward to seeing and meeting everyone at Bloggy Boot Camp Boston!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wordless Wednesday: Happy un-Mother's Day!
My mom and me, in Ireland, ten years past.
Mother's Day may be a crappy holiday, but you are one fantastic Mom.
Happy un-Mother's Day.
{On Jersey Moms Blog we're sharing our mom's recipes all week long. Today it's my mom's Minimalist Macaroons.}
{On Jersey Moms Blog we're sharing our mom's recipes all week long. Today it's my mom's Minimalist Macaroons.}
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Instructions for My Husband: What I'd like for Mother's Day
Not that you asked, and certainly not that whatever sweet things the kids make aren't enough (because they are dear children, of course they are!), but if you just so happened to be shopping... here are just a few ideas:
This super-fabulous modern desk from George Nelson:
Anything by Jennifer Fisher Jewelry. Really, I mean it, anything....
And finally? I would love a no gas push mower. To go with my compost. You know I'm serious about being a wannabe-Amish farmer.
You say I'll hate mowing the lawn. But look how happy this lady looks. I'm sure I'll be a smiley happy mower, too.
Think how nice I'll look out mowing the lawn, while wearing my new necklace (or ring, or bracelet, honestly it is your choice). And, just imagine how much I'll love sitting at my new desk, looking out over my beautifully cut lawn, secure in the knowledge it was mowed without creating any noise pollution or causing harm to the environment. And yes, I do think expensive jewelry is compatible with my Amish farmer aspirations.
I recently read a great and funny post from Wendi Aarons "Your Ad Here" about bloggers dropping company names in the hopes that they will take notice. I am only dropping these names for one person, who I don't think is reading anyway, and that is probably for the best.
This is the twelfth post in my ongoing series Instructions for my Husband.
Anyone else have material requests for Mother's Day?
This super-fabulous modern desk from George Nelson:
Anything by Jennifer Fisher Jewelry. Really, I mean it, anything....
From JenniferFisherJewelry.com |
You say I'll hate mowing the lawn. But look how happy this lady looks. I'm sure I'll be a smiley happy mower, too.
Photo from CleanAirGardening.com |
I recently read a great and funny post from Wendi Aarons "Your Ad Here" about bloggers dropping company names in the hopes that they will take notice. I am only dropping these names for one person, who I don't think is reading anyway, and that is probably for the best.
This is the twelfth post in my ongoing series Instructions for my Husband.
Anyone else have material requests for Mother's Day?
Monday, May 2, 2011
Yes, I Still Have It - The Mario Brothers Sweatshirt from the 1990s
We moved last summer into what our realtor called our "forever house," which I'm guessing is supposed to be the opposite of a "starter home." For me, forever just seems to refer to how long it's going to take me to unpack.
Still, sometimes unpacking uncovers possessions that are truly priceless. So, I've decided to start sharing them here with all of you in my new feature, Yes, I Still Have It.
First up, the sweatshirt my incredibly talented and thoughtful BFF made me back when we were in high school and I was Mario Brothers obsessed. In those good ol days, there wasn't branded everything. If you wanted a Mario Brothers sweatshirt, you had to make it yourself (or have an incredibly talented and thoughtful BFF to make it for you). And, this hand-painted version is about a million times better then anything you could ever buy.
So if you're reading, ALC, not only do Yes, I Still Have It, my equally-Mario-Brothers-obsessed daughter loves wearing it, too.
Twenty years later, and it's still totally awesome.
Still, sometimes unpacking uncovers possessions that are truly priceless. So, I've decided to start sharing them here with all of you in my new feature, Yes, I Still Have It.
First up, the sweatshirt my incredibly talented and thoughtful BFF made me back when we were in high school and I was Mario Brothers obsessed. In those good ol days, there wasn't branded everything. If you wanted a Mario Brothers sweatshirt, you had to make it yourself (or have an incredibly talented and thoughtful BFF to make it for you). And, this hand-painted version is about a million times better then anything you could ever buy.
So if you're reading, ALC, not only do Yes, I Still Have It, my equally-Mario-Brothers-obsessed daughter loves wearing it, too.
Twenty years later, and it's still totally awesome.