Instructions for my husband: Please cease all forms, variations and sounds generally known as "beatboxing"

I know it's fun for you. And I know you think you sound really cool. But here's the thing: you don't. I think, much like a cappella, nothing can be done to make beatboxing sound good. It is just a really annoying medium. (Unless you're Matisyahu, but you aren't.)

So seriously, if you could just never beatbox again, that would be like so great, thanks! Or - and L.E.S.ter will appreciate this - I will be forced to sing "Apples and Bananas" the entire way through just to tie things up between us in the irritating Olympics. For those of you not familiar with this classic, truly annoying song, here is Rafi singing it:



And here are the lyrics so you can sing along:

Apples and Bananas

I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
A
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
I like to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays
E
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and bee-nee-nees
I
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
I like to ite, ite, ite i-ples and by-ny-nys
O
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
I like to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos
U
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos
I like to oot, oot, oot oo-ples and boo-noo-noos

And you, my beloved husband, are going to start hearing this song all day and all night. That's right, all. the. time.

Or, you could just stop beatboxing.
This is my sixteenth instruction in my ongoing series Instructions for my Husband.

Now tell me, is there anything more annoying than beatboxing?