Instructions for my husband: Sleep-away camp has all the comforts of home. Even if it sounds like it doesn't.

My oldest, Magpie, at the age of 10 has now joined the ranks of those who can say they've gone to sleep-away camp.

My husband, who never went to sleep-away camp, finds the whole idea of sending one's child away incredibly baffling. And it becomes even more baffling to him because Magpie isn't just at any sleep-away camp this summer, she's at my childhood sleep-away camp.

Which means my husband and I have conversations like this one, which of course only re-enforces his whole idea that the concept of sleep-away camp is extremely befuddling:

Husband: I'm worried about if she forgets something.

Me: Don't worry! If you need something, Blue Boar's has it.

Husband: Blank stare.

Me: Y'know, I told you about Blue Boar's. Actually it's not Blue Boar's anymore, it's Jean Mart.

Husband: Blank stare, now on an increasingly irritated face.

Me: Jean. You don't remember me telling you about Jean? The head of camp for like years and years? Very beloved. She was awesome, truly a very special person. That's why Blue Boar's is Jean Mart now.

Husband: Blank stare, possible smoke coming from ears.

Me: (sighing) The commissary. Blue Boar's, which is Jane Mart, is just the commissary. Okay?

Husband:  (sighing in a way that makes my previous sigh seem like a tiny, little whisper) What the fuck is a commissary?

Me: The camp store. It has everything. You don't need to worry about her forgetting something, because she can get it there. The camp store. The commissary. Blue Boar's. But to be entirely correct Jean Mart.

Husband: Would it have been so hard for you just to say there's a camp store?

Me: It's not MY fault you never went to sleep-away camp.

This is my thirty-seventh instruction in my ongoing series Instructions for my Husband.

Follow along on Facebook on the Instructions to my Husband page since something stupid funny is always going on there.

Basketball Player In the House

When my husband and I got our first apartment together, which had typical New York City railroad style layout, one of my first memories is of us playing hockey. He unpacked his hockey stick and puck, and then surprisingly his other hockey stick, for a totally awesome indoor hockey game - the doorways on either side of the living room/dining room/kitchen served as the perfect goal posts.

I remember him saying, "when we have kids, I'm totally not going to be the kinda dad who doesn't let them play ball in the house."

And he has kept good on that promise, as evidenced by the photos my daughter Kay took of big sister Magpie playing basketball in our not-so-big kitchen just this past weekend.

 

Unfortunately for me, I did not have a similar wish to be the kinda mom who let's the kids play ball in the house.

Oh well.

Also, Big Duckie has shown himself to be a much better player than you might expect at first glance.

Do you let the kids play ball in the house?

Nine.

Yep, I am now the proud mother of a nine-year-old.

Personally, I don't think she looks a day over 8 and 7/8.

Keeping with family tradition, she was sick on her birthday. More on that later...

Happy Birthday, to the one-and-only Magpie. Nine looks good on you.

Saturday afternoon

Great Back to School Looks with Cookie's Kids

My daughters go back to school in a few weeks - I can hardly believe that summer is almost over, not to mention that come fall there will be a full-fledged 2nd-grader and 4th-grader in my house.

Time flies.

With school around the corner, we've started looking at what clothes still fit from last year, and what new things they'll need for the year ahead.

I was thrilled to join a program with Collective Bias to do some back to school shopping at CookiesKids.com to find some great pieces for my daughters.

The Cookie's Kids website has lots of options both for "regular" school clothes - what my kids wear to school - and school uniforms if that's what your kids need for the school year.

I went straight to the section labeled "Girl's Dept." which is easy to navigate by choices like tops, bottoms and shoes. Each item has easy drop-down boxes to see size and color availability.

For my daughter, Magpie - age 8 and soon-to-be fourth grader I picked out an orange and gray striped tee shirt (orange is her favorite color) for $8.99 and comfy gray leggings ($5.99) that will be perfect for days she has gym class.

For my almost-second grader, Kay, who likes fancier garb, I found a ruffly shirt that suited her fashion sensibilities while still being practical enough for school. The layer top ($7.99) came in a choice of black, purple or fuchsia, and after some deliberation I went for her favorite shade, fuchsia.

When the Cookie's Kids package arrived, I showed my kids their new clothes and both girls were delighted. (Phew.)

I wonder how many more years I'll have the fun of picking out clothes for my girls as a surprise, and having them love there new things.

I'm guessing not too many, but hopefully a few more before the real teen years are here.

On Polyvore (my new addiction) I had a lot of fun putting together their new kids clothes from Cookie's Kids in a kids fashion collection - I can see creating a lot more of these in the future!

Happy Back to School everyone, here's to a great year!

Where do you like to shop for back to school clothes? What is your kid's style?

You can see more photos from my shopping experience at CookiesKids.com in my Google+ album here. You can also like Cookie's Kids on Facebook, follow them on Twitter @CookieKids or via the hashtag #CookiesKids.

A little background about Cookie's Kids - now in its 40th year!

In 1972, a young man named Cookie and his brother Marvin went into business together. They rented a 1600 square foot store in Jamaica, Queens, fixed it up, bought inventory and Summer and Fall, and opened a day after Thanksgiving with a full stock of holiday toys. The toys were a success and they put the extra money toward buying children's clothing for the next season. When that did well, they bought more clothing. The business was on it's way.

As the brothers Cookie, Marvin and Sonny, who had come in as a third partner in the business, began to open new stores in new locations, inventory expanded. Besides the latest fashions, our customers wanted shoes, toys, backpacks and accessories and we were prepared to deliver.

By the late 1990's there were six superstores throughout the NYC area, and though they previously had different names, by that time they were all named Cookie's Kids. Also in the late '90s came an important addition to Cookie's Kids' inventory: school uniforms. It was the steady success in uniform sales that paved the way for founding CookiesKids.com in 2007, which originally sold uniforms and soon after the entire Cookie's Kids Inventory.

Disclosure: I am a member of the Collective Bias™ Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias™ and CookiesKids.com. #CBias #SocialFabric



Looks like the tween is here to stay.

My last post compared my kids on the last day of school last year, and the last day of school this year.

I thought they looked pretty much the same, though Kay is wearing the shorts in this year's photo that her big sister Magpie was wearing last year, so clearly they've grown.

And the year-to-year comparison also revealed their little brother has traded pajamas for regular clothes, but evidently in the transformation forgotten his pants.

But what is most striking is that this is the year my 8-year-old daughter Magpie has decided she is over my photographing ways.

While six-year-old Kay is still clearly happy to pose, Magpie looks like this on the last day of school:

I thought maybe the grumpy barely-tolerating-this-whole-photo-taking-thing was just a reflection of her mood on that particular day and at that particular time.

But a quick look back to the first day of school picture reveals that yeah, that's just her new tween expression, all days, all times.

Thankfully, I've well-documented her pre-tween youth so I'll still have these school photos to enjoy.

And maybe next year, my beloved, dear child, you can crack a tiny smile for the camera?

Or, lemme know tween parents, maybe not?

I'm linking up to Finding the Funny at Kelley's Break Room and My Life and Kids, because semi-surly tweens are funny, right?

Old Photo Friday: Last Day of School

Here are my daughters on their last day of pre-school in Manhattan, just about four years ago today. In a few months we would move to the suburbs, but when this photo was taken we didn't know that yet.

It was an odd day - there was a big storm the night before and trees were down everywhere, though you can't see them here.

Next week, I'll have a rising fourth grader and a rising second grader, not to mention an almost-three-year-old.

And the stuffed animal on the left? Yeah, Lodo is still around - though not every single moment of every single day like he used to be, but around just the same.

I post old photos on Fridays, in anticipation of a milestone birthday this summer. Once it passes, I'm on to something new.

Old Photo Friday: At the Zoo

Here's a photo from three years ago, when Kay was almost four and Magpie was six.

I remember the day fondly. I had made sure the kids looked their super-cute best because we were meeting friends at the zoo, and we didn't see them very often.

Don't the kids look super-cute?

Now, look a little closer.

Kay is wearing tights, just tights - we had completely forgotten to put a skirt on her.

I decided there was something sort-of edgy and punk rock about her outfit.

But of course I also knew she was a toddler wearing tights, just tights.

I like to dig around my old photos on Fridays. If you have an old photo post, please share in the comments. Old Photo Friday loves company!

I linked-up this old post to this week's Nov. 28 Finding the Funny. Check it out at Kelley's Breakroom and My Life and Kids for lots o'funny!

Life imitating blog

There are times when I wonder if my blog life is impacting my actual real life in ways approaching a reality show (and not in a good way).

Like when my daughter went to a birthday party, and got a really amazing looking iced cookie as her goody bag take-home treat.

I admonished her as she started to open the bag, "Don't eat your cookie until later!" You know, because I am an on-it and together mom who doesn't want her kid eating a cookie right after she had a giant slice of birthday cake.

And my kid, in front of everyone, sneers:

"Why? Because you want to take a photo of it for your blog first?"

Uh no, but now that you mention it...

I mean, c'mon, how awesome is that cookie?

Note: Magpie got to eat the cookie the next day. And for breakfast, no less.

I'm linking-up to the always hilarous and fun Finding the Funny with Kelley's Break Room and My Life and Kids.

Also, thanks to the Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms for their post 10 Reasons Being a Kid with a Mom Who Blogs Rocks, which inspired me to write this post.

New here? There's more random fun to be had on Twitter, Facebook, and the ultimate time-suck, Pinterest. Join. Follow. Waste time.

How the Tooth Fairy Flies at Our House

This post is a couple of years old, I originally wrote it for the now-defunct NYC Moms Blog.

It's back again in honor of National Tooth Fairies Day, which is celebrated tomorrow. And yes, I think this makes it official that holidays have jumped the shark.

My daughter lost her first tooth today. This event was particularly momentous for her because she was, as she put it, "the very, very last person in my whole class and the whole first grade to lose a tooth!"

This afternoon, as the tooth hung tenuously on, she explained to me what would happen tonight when the Tooth Fairy arrived. For those of you who last knew the Tooth Fairy in the 1970s and '80s, let me tell you she has changed a lot since those simpler times.

For instance, did you know that the Tooth Fairy is no longer an individual practitioner? That's right, the Tooth Fairy of today is a member of the Tooth Fairy Collective, and you never know which Tooth Fairy will visit you. For one tooth, you might get a quarter. For another, a book. And sometimes, you get the Tooth Fairy who leaves a piece of gum or candy, even though that doesn't really make sense since you'd think the Tooth Fairy would be all about dental health, working in the industry as she does.

In addition, the Tooth Fairy Collective works very closely with the Sandman Union (Local 286), a member of which precedes the Tooth Fairy to make sure the child is completely and entirely asleep before the Tooth Fairy makes the exchange. I don't know about you, but in my day the Tooth Fairy worked alone. Since when does she need a male helper to be her advance man?

There are other changes as well. My daughter informed me you can leave the Tooth Fairy a note with a specific request. When I asked if she had written one of those notes she responded, "Of, course!"

When I mentioned she'd better make sure to put it under her pillow for when the Tooth Fairy comes tonight, she informs me, "Oh no, you don't need to do that. She can find the note wherever you leave it, anywhere in the house. That's nothing for her. If the Tooth Fairy can find Hailey's lost tooth on the playground, she can find a note anywhere in the house."

Wow. This new and improved Tooth Fairy really is something else!

And last, my daughter provided me with this final fact about the Tooth Fairy, who clearly has a lot more on her mind then her predecessor did thirty years ago: "Sometimes the tooth fairy gets really busy, and doesn't come even if you leave a tooth under your pillow. But don't worry if that happens, she always finds time to come the next night. Or at the very latest, the night after that."

For more tooth fairy fun, check out the Tooth Fairy Pinterest Board.

And for a few books, songs and funny stories of Tooth Fairy visits gone awry, check out my post at New Jersey Family magazine: Tooth Fairy Goofs and Tooth Fairy Fun.

Have you ever had a Tooth Fairy mission not go exactly as planned?

___________________
I'm linking-up to Finding the Funny at Kelley's Break Room and My Life and Kids

Glad I Made It: Homemade Valentine's Day Cards

Due 100% to Pinterest's complete and utter bad influence, I showed my kids ideas for homemade Valentine's Day cards, and let them pick what they wanted to make to give out to their classmates.

Let me fill you in on a little secret that no one tells you when you are enjoying Pinterest in your own crafty mom fantasy land: yours won't look even a little like whatever it is you're eyeing. (This is a lesson I should have remembered from my last Pinterest-inspired bout of creativity. But alas, I did not.)

Luckily for me, my kids are too young to notice (or they're just really, really polite). Here's what we made:

Kay "I sometimes go to first-grade" chose to make Play Doh Valentines. This involved a grown-up printing a circular label to go on top of the Play Doh container (we went with Tic Tac Doh! Be My Valentine!),

adding a heart sticker, and Kay signing her name.

Someone also needed to cut-out the label and affix it to the Play Doh container with a glue dot. This someone was supposed to be the child in my mind, but apparently it was me in her mind, so yes... it is mostly my handiwork.

Making these Play Doh Valentines was totally easy. But making them look good? Not so easy. Here is our Pin-spiration from Random Thoughts of a SUPERMOM!:

And here is our finished product:

With the Play Doh Valentines complete, next up was making Valentines that would be suitable for third-grader "I'm too cool for Valentines" Magpie. Her only criteria was not to include a message that could in any way imply she ever liked anyone at anytime, anywhere or in anyway. Her choice? You Rock! Valentines.

Again, the easy factor on making these classmate Valentine's Day cards is high. I cut out old-school hearts by folding pieces of construction paper in half, and Magpie used a glue dot to affix a rock or two to the heart. And, Magpie even wrote the Valentine's Day greetings all by herself.

I thought they looked pretty great:

But great as they are three-grade handwriting and all, they are nothing like the original Pin-spiration from Fiskars.com:

And last, my two-year-old Ziggy needed Valentines, but just a few. His preschool is Jewish, so there isn't any of that St. Valentine's Day stuff going on there, Baruch Hashem.

I made Ziggy's Valentines for him, using recycled crayon hearts we still had from when we made them last year for Earth Day. The heart crayon-size is just right for toddler hands, and I was happy these Crayon Heart Valentines only took a few minutes to make. Once again I just needed to cut-out a construction paper heart, glue-dot on the heart crayon, add a few stickers and write Happy Valentine's Day!

And while I couldn't be happier with how ours turned out, it sure doesn't compare to the original pin-spiration from WhipperBerry (or to a similar crayon Valentine that has been repinned over 16,000 times).

If you'd like more ideas for homemade Valentines, there are lots more here at Valentines That Make the Grade in the Classroom and on my Valentine's Day Ideas Pinterest Board.

Also? I will never degrade the value of a store-bought Valentine's Day card again.

To My Beloved Magpie, On Your Eighth Birthday

My beloved daughter... how are you turning eight today? I feel like a robot on the verge of obsolescence, and while I know that is about me, and not you, I so can't believe you are old and wise -- as well as very, very tweeny -- already.

We all know it seems like just yesterday that we were bopping you around in our fourth-floor walk-up apartment in Manhattan, singing "you are my precious baby girl," while a two day blizzard raged on outside our windows and we explained to you that the world doesn't always look like a snow globe.

Those first days were so beautiful and full of wonder.

And let's face it, full of idiocy as well since you were the first-born of modern parents who had never even really seen a baby, let alone taken care of one.

I called grandma while I was still in the hospital, desperately worried I had broken your arm.

"Is she crying?" the always practical grandma asked.

"No, no she isn't." I said, "But the arm bent funny when I put her shirt on."

"If she isn't crying, then her arm isn't broken." sighed grandma.

Oh, good.

Your Dad and I also filled out our parents names on the hospital forms where it said "parents" instead of our own, but the full story of that gaffe is for another day.

All this is just to say, we had no idea what we were doing then, and we have no idea what we are doing now, but it all seems to be working out OK.  Because now, and always, you  have known exactly what to say and what to do.

You have also always been hilarious. And serious. At 8 months old, you lectured the other babies in day care so much from your make-shift congressional floor that the teachers started calling you The Senator.

In your first year of pre-school, when you were turning three, you were out sick for two weeks, and your classmates called every day to see when you were coming back - they needed their classroom representative to articulate their needs to the teachers. The welcome you received when you returned to school was huge, even for as semi-elected official.

The next year of preschool, your morahs told me cheerfully "if a child is upset, we send them over to your daughter, she always knows how to make them feel better!" And they told me a story about how one day a classmate spilled water all over her napkin and was really upset. When no one was watching (or so you thought) you spilled water on your own, and then said "Oh look, my napkin is wet, too..."

'Cause yeah, that's the kind of person you are.

So, could someone this awesome have anything they could work on?  Probably not. Well maybe just one teensy thing. You do have sorta a material bent despite my best attempts to steer you towards the spiritual path instead.

There's a story I love from a few years back when you urged your Uncle Ethan and your Uncle Stephanie ever so politely, "you might want to start thinking about what would be a good gift for a five-year-old girl." Oh, the tact! The subtlety!

And for the record, Uncle told me he has a totally good idea for a gift for an eight-year-old girl - just in case you knew anyone.

Happy birthday, little bear. I love you forever and a day.

If you ask a modern child an old-fashioned question...

Have you heard this brain teaser before?

A son and his father get into a serious car accident. The boy is taken in one ambulance to a hospital, and the father is taken in another ambulance to a different hospital. Upon reaching the emergency room, the doctor looks at the boy and says, "I can't work on this patient. He is my son!"  

How is this possible?

I asked my kids this favorite puzzle from my own childhood on the way to school the other day.

My seven-year-old daughter Magpie, modern child that she is, thought for a few minutes and then exclaimed, "The doctor is the mom!"

While I'm busy congratulating Magpie on both her wisdom and her young feminist leanings, I notice that my five-year-old daughter Kay is looking totally confused.

I make a mental note that a child must need to be older to understand these sorts of logic puzzles, and suggested as much to her - apologizing she didn't really understand what the question was asking.

Her reply?

"Well, it could just be the other dad."

Yes, Kay, it certainly could.

Oh how I love modern kids.

Suburban Kitchen, Now and Then

Here I am in the suburban kitchen of my childhood, circa 1975:

And here is my daughter Magpie in our kitchen now, circa 2008:

Yes, my family today is still eating at the same kitchen table from when I was a kid.

And a quick glance at the counters in the background suggests my mother and I share both housekeeping and kitchen furnishing aesthetics.

A few random offerings from the mouths of my kids: The Kay and Magpie Edition

4pm, Monday afternoon, February, 2009

Thanks to my brother for the fantastic animation.





Vignette I:
Magpie: The party has been cancelled.
Kay: Why! Why has the party been cancelled?
Magpie: Because my Aunt is coming over. I didn't know she was coming over, I just found out she was, so we'll have to have the party another day. For those of you who don't know, an Aunt is your mother's, mother's, mother's sister."

Vignette II:
Magpie: I need to look pretty. VERY pretty.
Kay: Why?
Magpie: I'm getting married. Today!

Vignette III:
Magpie: This is mine! And I also need lots and lots of trains.
Kay: That's OK. I have three mountains.

A few minutes later...

Magpie: Kay, can I have a triangle?
Kay: No! I told you I need three mountains!

A few more minutes later...

Magpie: Are you sure you don't have just one triangle I could have?
Kay: No!
Magpie: Are you sure?
Kay: OK, I will try.
Magpie: Thanks, Kay.

Vignette IV:
Magpie: No dinosaurs allowed at this slumber party.
Kay: Is the slumber party today?
Magpie: No loud noises at this slumber party!
Kay: Well then why do you get to talk?
Magpie: Because it was my idea.
Kay: OK, as long as we are having rhinestones and spaghetti.
Magpie: Promise.

A few random offerings from the mouths of my kids - The Magpie Edition

I wrote these down a while ago, and NaBloPoMo makes me decide to actually post them.

All quotes are from my daughter Magpie when she was 6 or 7 years old.

When we're on the way to a horseback riding party:

 "Im a really good rider, for someone who has never ridden a horse."

_____________

When she asks if she can answer the phone, because she's sure it's Daddy calling:

"I can tell Daddy's ring."

To which I respond, "No you can't, they're all the same."

And she answers, "No, they're not. They're like license plates, no two are alike."

_____________

When she asks me to get her some ice from the freezer:

"I gotta put ice in the toilet. So it will make it snow."

Me: "But it's already going to snow."

Her: "I know. But kids in my class did it last time, and that's why we got two feet instead of one foot of snow."

At least I know who to thank for that winter wonderland.

What funny things do your kids say?

The Last Time I Voted: 2008

The last time I voted was the 2008 presidential election. I took my kids (see above), to set a good example. I was shocked, and kind of appalled that we had to pass a bake sale to get to the polling station in a New York City public school.

Of course, my kids insisted on getting a treat, and I thought in this time of an obesity crises they should have been selling smoothies, fresh fruit and maybe whole grain power bars.

But I wanted to vote, so I got the kids cupcakes.

I also wondered to myself if the bake sale was "fair" - wasn't the reminder that the public schools lacked funding and therefore needed to raise money via these bake sales, a subtle nudge in favor of the left?

My last memory of that day is a particularly boisterous campaigner encouraging us to vote for Obama, and my then four-year-old telling her very clearly, "I don't care what you say. I'm gonna vote for the girl."

No one had the heart to tell my young feminist that she wouldn't actually be casting a vote.

Kay - if you are reading this one day, you are not wearing a coat in this photo because you did not wear a coat any day that winter of 08-09. Even though your grandma bought you three.

My Lil' Pumpkins and the Black Winter Coat - Who Wore it Better?

Who wore it better?

There's a lot of sibling clothes sharing in our house, sometimes even with little brother Ziggy. So I've decided to start a new feature, who wore it better?

So, who do you think wore it better? Magpie's on the left, and Kay (holding someone named Kelly's pumpkin) is on the right.

Winter coat from Lili Gaufrette via the one-and-only Natan Borlam in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. They have incredible prices and service, and will even help you shop by phone.

{All opinions my own. No compensation received.}

Hurricane Irene: The Kindy Photo Edition

The day after the hurricane we drove around our New Jersey neighborhood (I was too afraid of falling branches to walk), and as our home was essentially fine I was surprised and saddened to see so many of our neighbors had not been as lucky.

And, most everyone where we live is without power and without drinkable water.

I know it could be much worse, but it's still pretty bad.

All photos taken by my daughter, Magpie, Age 7.

As I'm sure you can tell, in some photos her sister Kay wouldn't "stop getting in the way!"

Their little brother Ziggy missed the outing, still asleep in the makeshift "safety fort."

Glad I Saw It: A Second Grader's School Journal

With the new school year starting in just a few weeks, I finally decided it was time to dig through the piles of papers from the last school year.

And I'm glad I took the time to read through the piles, instead of following my first inclination to just brush it all into the trash can in one grand sweep of the arm.

My kid's journal was eye-opening - and not because I realized I had a seven-year-old Emily Dickinson living in my home. But because it told, quite clearly, how she felt about school. And it was all news to me. Here's three entries:
Entry 1:
I hate this journal because 1. It's stupid 2. It's dumb 3. It's boring 4. I'd much rather read 5. Duh!

And her teacher's response: I'm sorry that you feel this way. I always enjoy reading what you write.

Entry 2:
Plain letters are boring. Fancy letters are awesome.



And her teacher's response: Please write with plain letters.

And last...
Entry 3:
I rock, rock, rock, and rock. I'm awesome, awesome, awesome and more awesome. I rock, and am more awesome.

And her teacher's response: Please write something more meaningful.

______________________

On a more serious note,these entries show a real lack of interest in school from my daughter, which pains me. And her teacher clearly thinks my kid is making a lousy effort, as indicated by the margin notes, which also pains me.

I wish the journal had come home during, instead of after, the school year, so I could have know my kid hates writing in her journal, thinks it's dumb, and thinks it's appropriate to write duh. 'Cause, Magpie? It's not.

Duh.

I am taking any and all advice on how to start the new school year off in a more positive way, please.