Farewell Noel: The Greatest and Most Depressing Christmas Tree Video You'll Ever See

For anyone who has ever laid awake at night wondering what happens to all those New York City Christmas trees, this video reveals the sad truth.


Farewell, Noel.

With thanks to A.E., the genius behind Farewell Noel.

GapKids Holding Shine On Family Events Saturdays in August

This post is sponsored by GapKids. Check out all the fun Shine On activities at your nearest Gap store. For event dates and locations, visit Gap’s Facebook page and join the conversation on Twitter with hashtag #ShineOn.

Looking for something fun to do with the kids? Saturdays in August, GapKids is hosting Shine On events at stores across the country. At these events kids will be able to unleash their inner artist when they participate in special art projects created by Merrilee Liddiard of Mer Mag.

Shine On projects are inspired by the GapKids and babyGap fall collection, which features a new 1969 denim - Jewel Box Skinnies for girls (an update of the new skinny jean in bright stretchy denim) and Action Stretch Denim for boys (denim made to move and play).

Projects include creating geometric canvas art with paint and tape and make-your-own journals.

To catch some of the Shine On spirit, just watch this video from GapKids & babyGap and then get ready to get your own Shine On with your kids!



Here in New York City, Shine On events are being held the next three Saturdays at three different locations in Manhattan:

Saturday, August 11
Make Geometric Art
10am-1pm
GapKids @ 54th & 5th 680 Fifth Ave
New York, NY 10019

Saturday, August 18
Create Your Own Journal
10am-1pm
GapKids @ 85th & 3rd 1511 Third Ave
New York, NY 10028

Saturday, August 25
Make an Animal Character Badge
10am-1pm
GapKids @ 17th & 5th 122 Fifth Ave.
New York, NY 10011

And if you're not in the New York City area, there are lots more Shine On activities in other cities including Philadelphia, Dallas and Boston. You can check out the full list of Shine On locations here.


I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

SantaCon

My son Ziggy getting his SantaCon on last year:

I'm sorry to be missing SantaCon this year.

But next year? We're so there.

To My Beloved Magpie, On Your Eighth Birthday

My beloved daughter... how are you turning eight today? I feel like a robot on the verge of obsolescence, and while I know that is about me, and not you, I so can't believe you are old and wise -- as well as very, very tweeny -- already.

We all know it seems like just yesterday that we were bopping you around in our fourth-floor walk-up apartment in Manhattan, singing "you are my precious baby girl," while a two day blizzard raged on outside our windows and we explained to you that the world doesn't always look like a snow globe.

Those first days were so beautiful and full of wonder.

And let's face it, full of idiocy as well since you were the first-born of modern parents who had never even really seen a baby, let alone taken care of one.

I called grandma while I was still in the hospital, desperately worried I had broken your arm.

"Is she crying?" the always practical grandma asked.

"No, no she isn't." I said, "But the arm bent funny when I put her shirt on."

"If she isn't crying, then her arm isn't broken." sighed grandma.

Oh, good.

Your Dad and I also filled out our parents names on the hospital forms where it said "parents" instead of our own, but the full story of that gaffe is for another day.

All this is just to say, we had no idea what we were doing then, and we have no idea what we are doing now, but it all seems to be working out OK.  Because now, and always, you  have known exactly what to say and what to do.

You have also always been hilarious. And serious. At 8 months old, you lectured the other babies in day care so much from your make-shift congressional floor that the teachers started calling you The Senator.

In your first year of pre-school, when you were turning three, you were out sick for two weeks, and your classmates called every day to see when you were coming back - they needed their classroom representative to articulate their needs to the teachers. The welcome you received when you returned to school was huge, even for as semi-elected official.

The next year of preschool, your morahs told me cheerfully "if a child is upset, we send them over to your daughter, she always knows how to make them feel better!" And they told me a story about how one day a classmate spilled water all over her napkin and was really upset. When no one was watching (or so you thought) you spilled water on your own, and then said "Oh look, my napkin is wet, too..."

'Cause yeah, that's the kind of person you are.

So, could someone this awesome have anything they could work on?  Probably not. Well maybe just one teensy thing. You do have sorta a material bent despite my best attempts to steer you towards the spiritual path instead.

There's a story I love from a few years back when you urged your Uncle Ethan and your Uncle Stephanie ever so politely, "you might want to start thinking about what would be a good gift for a five-year-old girl." Oh, the tact! The subtlety!

And for the record, Uncle told me he has a totally good idea for a gift for an eight-year-old girl - just in case you knew anyone.

Happy birthday, little bear. I love you forever and a day.

Instructions for My Husband: At the end of a long day when the kids are sick is not the optimal time to go shopping at Radio Shack

When the kids are sick, and I'm home alone with them, you should come directly home after work. As the saying goes, Do Not Pass Go, or in your case, Do Not Go to Radio Shack.

This advice is particularly applicable when one of the sick kids is puking. Repeatedly. On me. And the other sick kid is snotting repeatedly. On me.


Let me set the scene: I'm home with sick kids, puked on laundry and carpet, boogery tissues and snotted on clothes, and I call you to see when you'll be home and you answer helpfully in an upbeat tone "around half-an-hour, I'm getting a new phone right now at Radio Shack."

This takes place at 5 o'clock. You get home at 5:30pm. Many of you reading this may be thinking, what's the big deal, it's only 30 minutes. And now your husband has the phone he wanted!
But you would be wrong. In those 30 minutes I had to feed the snotty one, while explaining to the pukey one that she couldn't eat the dinner, she could only have jello and Popsicles, while simultaneously trying to convince the snotty one to eat some real food, not just the pukey one's food.

And remember, this delightful dinner is taking place after a day of snot and puke and general toddler sickness and ickiness of one kind and another. Which, and I know this will come as a surprise, is actually not nearly as fun as it sounds.

Radio Shack is two blocks from our apartment. Two measly blocks. They are open at 8am. They stay open until 10pm. Was there really no other time you could find to go? The day when I was home by myself with two sick kids and their tears, whines and various bodily excretions,  going today at 5 o'clock was the absolute best time you could come up with?

So, please, let me help you - today at 5pm was not a good time to go to Radio Shack. Go any time in the middle of the day this weekend. Go any night after the kids are asleep. Or even go at 5pm, on any of the many other days when one of them isn't throwing up. Repeatedly. On me.

This is a post I started back in December, 2007. Thanks go NaBloPoMo, I finished it today. I'm still sorta annoyed, which is surprising because I am totally not one to hold a grudge. At all.

This is the twenty-sixth instruction in my ongoing series of Instructions for My Husband.

Does your husband ever pick the absolute worst time to go run an errand while you're at home with the offspring?

Three Great Things to Do in New York City Over Thanksgiving Weekend

I love New York City all year round, but Thanksgiving weekend is one of my favorite times. Not only does it begin the holiday season with all its lights and splendor, but our family has a few annual traditions we try to fit in every year over Thanksgiving weekend. Here are three of our family favorites:

• Macy's Day Parade - this legendary spectacle is a wonder to behold in person, but not too bad either when viewed on the television from the comfort of home with a mulled cider and the scent of turkey roasting. When we were still Upper West Siders, we always made sure to take a stroll by the balloons being inflated the night before, one of my most enduring memories of being a Manhattanite.

• American Museum of Natural History - we visit this kid-friendly museum frequently in all seasons, but I never miss a holiday trip to see the amazing Origami Holiday Tree (on display November 21 through January 2).

Other special exhibits currently on display are The World's Largest Dinosaurs and The Butterfly Conservatory, both incredible experiences for kids of all ages.

• Big Apple Circus - This has been a favorite holiday destination since our oldest was little, and I was delighted to see the Dream Big! show this year with all three kids (2, 6 & 7) who were all enthralled. My dog-obsessed toddler was loving the canine performances, while his older sisters couldn't get enough of the trapeze and magic acts. A truly magical experience, the big tent is up at Lincoln Center Plaza until January 8.

My kids, ready to join the circus!

So what's not on my list of recommended places to visit in Manhattan? All the places that have been commercialized and Dora-fied -  The Bronx Zoo and The Central Park Zoo, as well as the Children's Museum of Manhattan. And it's too bad, because in the day, those were once great New York institutions, too.  It would be nice if Nickelodeon would leave a few spots free of Dora-fication.

___________________________

My family and I were lucky enough to receive comped tickets to The World's Largest Dinosaurs exhibit and to the Big Apple Circus for purposes of review. Believe me, our opinions were not influenced. I was also offered tickets to the Children's Museum of Manhattan, which I (semi) politely declined.

Wordless Wednesday: What a Difference a (School) Year Makes

This is my daughter Kay on the first day of Pre-K...



... and on the last day.




A note to my daughter Magpie: you didn't go to Pre-K, but here you (and Kay) are on the last day of Pre-Nursery when you were four:





And here's a video of you and your friends singing "So good-bye, to Pre-Nursery, we know that it is time for us to fly..." (I didn't edit it, so those of you who aren't Magpie or her relatives may want to skip it)



Yes, I Still Have It - The Shabbat Ima Necklace and other Nursery School Relics

This post is from June, 2008, when my daughter Magpie was in her final year of pre-school and we still lived in Manhattan.

The end of the school year always makes me melancholy, I can only imagine what I'll be like when my kids are really graduating from school for the final time.

Today was Magpie's last day of nursery school. She came home with a whole bag full of swag, including all of her day-to-day stuff from class - her carpet square for circle time, her chair name tag, her yellow triangle with her photo on it which was used to check in every morning, and perhaps most touchingly, her (handmade) Shabbat Ima necklace, complete with her Hebrew name, Varda.

Three years later... and yes, I still have it.

All these things were in her classroom day in and day out, and of course amongst the bustle of a rainy Tuesday morning or a hurried pick-up on a way to a dentist appointment, were the most mundane things in the world. Now, out-of-context and lying around our apartment, they are of course overwhelmingly touching.

And like so many things with one's child's childhood, I am suddenly filled with regret for every moment this past year that I complained about, rushed past, or simply didn't appreciate. Or, as Magpie would say, "no more pre-school."

Goodbye, and thank you, Chabad Early Learning Center.

 Magpie just finished second grade in suburban New Jersey.  How times change.

My youngest starts his first year at Chabad in New Jersey this fall.

I wish I knew where the time went.

What I'm thinking about on Sunday night: my engagement

Nine years ago today, I got engaged. Or possibly it was nine years ago yesterday. And to be honest, the engagement anniversary might be tomorrow, or even the day after that.

I can't remember.

I asked my husband, and he can't remember either.

We do both remember we got engaged the same day we moved in together, but we don't remember what day we got our apartment, that awesome first New York City apartment. Awesome, and four non-elevatored flights up. The next year we got married in January, and our daughter was born that December. And then we didn't last too much longer as a couple with a baby in our fourth story walk-up, but it was great while it lasted.

Yesterday I saw my mom. I asked her, "Do you remember when Mike and I got engaged?" She replied, "Why, was it today?"

And I said, "That's exactly my question - was it today? We can't remember."

And do you know what this sweet grandmother replied?

"Who cares."

I'm not sure if grandma is right or not, but my email doesn't go back that far, (I switched all my accounts to my new married name, and the old ones are gone now) so I guess I'll never know.

I do still have photos of our old apartment, including one I took just a few weeks ago. Our stretch of street between Broadway and Amsterdam still looks the same.

But the neighborhood has changed so much. The popular Sarabeth's is still on one end (we used to be able to look out our window to assess the line before heading there for brunch), and H&H Bagels is on the other, though it is closing soon. A bunch of other favorite places are also now closed, and many, like Allan & Suzi (four doors down from our apartment, and where I got my wedding dress) are moving to a new neighborhood.



So there you have it. Lots of memories of the old neighborhood. But no recollection of the date we got engaged.

Do you remember the day you got engaged? Should I make my husband find our old lease to solve the mystery, or do you agree with my mom... who cares?

Wordless Wednesday: Flat Stanley Visits the One and Only New York City!

My kid got one of those Flat Stanley assignments. (For those asking "What is Flat Stanley?" it is a class project when kids are given a "Flat Stanley" to mail to a friend or family member in another city so Stanley can experience life there and report back on his time visiting a far-away land. It is based on the 1964 children's book called (you guessed it!) Flat Stanley.) 

Our Flat Stanley traveled from the suburban countryside of New Jersey to the urban fairytale that is the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Flat Stanley returned with a trove of photos of everywhere from Arthur Avenue in the Bronx to Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village.

I share with you now my favorite photo of Stanley on the town:

Thank you so much to Stanley's hosts for showing him such a good time, New York City style.

Have you ever participated in a Flat Stanley project? Where did your Stanley visit?

Happy Mothers Day!

I love this site, but until now I never had anything worthy of submission. I hope they post it!

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Update: Note was not posted to passiveaggressivenotes.com. If this note isn't passive aggressive, what is?

This photo is from the lobby of my old apartment building on the Upper West Side, May 2008. Lame Mom lived there, too. (I never thought to ask her if she knew who wrote the note.)

Wordless Wednesday: Views from a New York City Apartment

Today is my mother's birthday. I had prepared a heartfelt progression of photos of her through the years, but she nixed it. So instead, I offer a heartfelt progression of views from her Manhattan apartments. Like any New Yorker, she knows real estate is the true measure of a person's worth.

Happy Birthday, Mom.

NY400 Holland on the Hudson, September 10, 2009 (Battery Park City) 



Tribute in Light, September 11, 2010 (Battery Park City)



January 13, 2011 Fireworks in celebration of 3 'Queen' Ships (Battery Park City)



Statue of Liberty, February 6, 2011 (Battery Park City)



Hudson River and the George Washington Bridge, 2005 (Upper West Side)

Construction and New Jersey, 2007 (Midtown)

(Not so) Wordless Wednesday - Saying Goodbye to My Brother's Lower East Side Bachelor Pad

My brother Ethan (he blogs too!) is moving to Brooklyn. Leaving his Lower East Side apartment of well-over a decade. We decided to take the kids for one last visit to Rivington Street last weekend.

Here's a rare family photo taken outside his building:


Yes, I'm using the baby to block me.

There are a lot of wonderful things about Ethan's apartment, like the hand-decorated ceiling:



but I'm guessing he won't miss the view.

Or the four flights of stairs.

He may also miss his neighbors directly to his right, and to his left.  But I'm guessing you can get those things in Brooklyn, too.

P.S. Don't forget my super fun giveaway for Super Fun Puzzle Valentines from Peaceable Kingdom Press ends tonight! Enter now!

Farewell Noel

With thanks to A.E., the genius behind Farewell Noel.

Can't Wait for "Dear Edwina" and Our Day in Union Square!

Tomorrow my daughters and I are going into New York City to see the musical comedy Dear Edwina at the DR2 Theatre in Union Square - and we can't wait.

This is the third season Dear Edwina is playing, and I'm excited we are finally seeing this holiday favorite that's been on my must see list for too long. It looks like a lot of fun.

After the show, we'll be sure to enjoy Union Square at holiday time including the incredible craft Holiday Market, the year-round Greenmarket, and (if my daughters have any say in things) the legendary Max Brenner.

Dear Edwina is playing at the DR2 Theatre at 103 East 15th Street through Friday, February 25, 2011.


Dear Edwina tickets are $39.00 and are available on Telecharge.com, by calling 212-239-6200, or in person at the DR2 Theatre box office (103 East 15th Street). Tickets are also available for groups (10 or more) and birthday and holidays parties (20 or more), with party space available, and can be purchased by calling 646-747-7400. The performance schedule varies – visit www.dearedwina.com for additional details and full playing schedule.

I received four free tickets for review purposes, but my enthusiasm for seeing the show is my own.

I'm about to have a perfect NYC Day... without my kids!

That's right, as of 9:00 am Wed. morning I am "off the clock" and going to the Big City for a 24-hour furlow while my worldly Parisian friend is in NYC on a layover until Thursday morning when she jets off to Las Vegas (because yes, that's how she rolls).

Other then sleep in on Thursday morning, what should I see/buy/eat/drink on my one-day-and-one-night in the City?

While I'm taking my 24-hour sabbatical, I'll also take a rare break from my online perseverations to enable myself to fully experience the ultimate hackable app. My friend mentioned (gasp!) that she is not even bringing her computer. Of course, I'll be back to share here the full story of what non-mom-like hijinks we get up to.

I can't wait.

Update: My one-day-and-one-night in NYC was terrific, but produced nothing suitable for blog to share. Maybe next time? My friend has a stop-over here on her way back to Paris, too.

More on SantaCon 2010

While I could easily become obsessed with SantaCon, I'm going to move on with my life and just be content with the knowledge that SantaCon will be back next year (just like Christmas!) and I will have a chance then to more fully participate in the greatness of this event - which by the way, I just found out via a billion photos on the Internet takes place not only in New York City, but all over the entire world.

For sure though, I am not going to be a run-of-the-mill red Santa when I go to SantaCon next year.  I am totally going to be one of those "marketed for Jews" blue-suited Santas.

And if I'm going to SantaCon, I'm going to go in the full ho, ho, ho spirit of the holiday. I'm serious.

Until then, I leave you with this photo of my totally jaded son, texting instead of hangin' with (from left to right) The Totally Smokin' Elf, Mardi Graz-n-Beadz Santa and the always-popular, Cell Phone Pimpin' Santa.

Wishing a Merry SantaCon to one and all!

A Perfect New York City Day: The ArcLight Theatre, Jacques Torres Chocolate and... SantaCon!

Today was a quintessential New York City day. I felt like I still lived in the City, except for when I couldn't find my car keys and really needed my suburban SUV to change the baby and stash my purchases.

The day started with taking Magpie and Kay to a very special birthday party for their beloved friend from the old neighborhood. While they were at the festivities, my husband and I walked around the Upper West Side with Ziggy. Our first stop was Tip Top Shoes (155 W 72nd St), possibly the best shoe store ever. I had planned to get Ziggy his only itty-bitty toddler-sized Uggs so he'd quit tripping around the house in his sisters' oversized ones, but he pitched such a fit when the saleswomen put them on him, I thought to myself: this is not the reaction that should precede buying ninety-six dollar footwear for a sixteen-month-old.  So we tried on a cheaper more basic pair of shoes, and he raced around the store happily. He still didn't seem as enthusiastic about these new shoes as I would have liked, but I guess boys will be boys.

Next stop was Z'Baby (W 72nd and Columbus) which is just about my favorite place to buy both girls and boys clothes, especially when price is no object. I love essentially everything they carry, but I especially love the Z'Baby brand which has lots of fantastic dresses that are both blingy and comfy.  For my son, they had Blume tees with real ties and for the extra-festive, a tie and vest.

After our Ziggy shopping spree, we still had a few minutes left before it was time to pick-up the girls, so I convinced my husband we should be productive and get a few holiday gifts for the assorted teachers, crossing guards, trash removers and home cleaners who make our lives possible and to whom I am truly grateful this holiday season, and every season of the year.

We went to Jacques Torres Chocolates (285 Amsterdam Ave between 74th and 75th St), and got a ton of yummy presents: Chocolate Cherries, Pure Bliss Brownie Mix, and my favorite, big canisters of their Hot Chocolate.

We also got ourselves one of their legendary chocolate chip cookies to eat right that very second on the street, 'cause it's only fair if the kids were having birthday cake at the party... right?

Our last stop before meeting-up with the girls was Sabon (Broadway and 71st St). Sabon is another place where I want one (or two) of just about everything. I especially love their pretty and great smelling soaps, so the wrapped-and-ready to go Soap Stack was perfect for a few more special gifts for special people.

Even though I wanted to get something for myself, I remembered our purpose and just bought for others as 'tis the season.  And speaking of the season, I just realized I've left out the best, most New York-y part of our day: SantaCon!

SantaCon is, according to their site, a non-denominational, non-commercial, non-political and non-sensical Santa Claus convention that occurs once a year for absolutely no reason.

To my stroller-pushing, suburban-dwelling, married-Jewish-lady self, it was nothing less then awesome. Santa's everywhere!

I even got a few drunk good-natured santas and elves to take a memorable holiday portrait with Ziggy.

Ziggy at his first (of I'm sure many) SantaCons.

I know it's a holiday memory my son will treasure forever. I know I will.

The last stop of the day was to join the girls at the ArcLight Theatre (152 W 71st St) for the very fun and funny Holiday Pantomime (or Panto), Snow White and the Several Dwarfs (its playing until Dec. 19).

We meet our friends every year to see the annual holiday offering from Pantomonium Productions, and this year's show was as great as ever, made all the more great by knowing than more than 50% of the tickets are donated to underprivileged children and families.

It was a perfect New York City Day.

Update: In response to my mom's email: I was not paid to write about those stores.  I geninuely like those stores as much as I claimed to like them. SantaCon really does exist.

Hanukkah Menorahs - The Nostalgia Edition

Here are each of my girls lighting the Hanukkah menorah when they were in preschool. Magpie is a few days over the age of four, and Kay just barely two-years-old.

I love that Magpie is lighting on her own - even now, she's seven, I hold her hand just to be safe.

And little Kay, I still remember that well-loved fuzzy pink sweater.

Happy Hanukkah, my beloved daughters.

A Perfect New York City Day: Gustafer Yellowgold's Show and Murray's Sturgeon Shop

We had an incredible time at Gustafer Yellowgold's show on Saturday. It was at Symphony Space on the Upper West Side, literally just a few blocks from where we used to live. We drove by our old building looking for a parking space and the kids pointed out some of their favorite memories from our old stomping grounds - the horse statue, the "sitting place" on the front stairs, the meeting place of the (now defunct) "Sleeping Outside Club," and butterfly corner, every bit as resplendent as we remembered it.

Even though we no longer live in Manhattan, I feel Magpie and Kay will always have a decent amount of New Yorker in them.  But Ziggy, sadly, not so much. He's the only member of our family to never live in New York City. And he is clearly not a City Baby. When we told him we were going to the City, he immediately got out his little tourist map.

This is how he spent the rest of breakfast:

Gustafer Yellowgold's Show was fabulous, and in addition to hearing so many of our favorite songs like Panther Stamp Pants and Pinecone Lovely, we were also lucky enough to hear some fantastic new songs from the soon-to-be-released Infinity Sock DVD.

After the show, Gustafer was kind enough to meet his many adoring fans.

And to pose for a photo with Magpie.

Magpie got to meet Morgan Taylor, too.

After the show, we walked a few blocks down to Murray's Sturgeon Shop. We've been going to Mursy's (as toddler Magpie used to call it) since before the kids were born, and believe it or not, my parents and grandparents used to go there, too. (It's been an UWS landmark since 1946.)  H&H bagels, hand-sliced nova, and (for me) tofu cream cheese. This, you just can't get in the suburbs.

It was a perfect New York City day.