Instructions for my Husband: Please stop snoring.

I know this may be a little bit hard for you to do, because as you always tell me, you're asleep so you can't control when you're snoring.

Still, I know there has to be something you could do. Get the breathe strips. Or the mask contraption breathe-y thing. Or the spray. Or just anything. I don't care. I just don't want to listen to your snoring every single night for the rest. of. my. life.

I just typed "stop snoring" into Google, and 2,140,000 entries were returned. That's over two million options to choose from to stop snoring! Today! Low Cost!

239,000 results provided the additional promise that they are GUARANTEED TO WORK! Certainly there must be something out there on one of those sites that will help you snore less, even if it won't stop your interminable snoring completely.

At the very least, don't get all annoyed with me when I wake you up because I can't sleep... because you're snoring.

Does anyone else have a snoring mate? What do you do?

This is the eleventh post in my ongoing series of Instructions for My Husband. {He has yet to follow any of them.}

ENDED - Giveaway! Win Tickets to Rated P... for Parenthood: May 5-8 at SOPAC

This giveaway has ended. Congratulations to the winners!

Photo: Jeff Larkin

Today I had the phenomenal experience of watching an open rehearsal for a fantastic new musical comedy from Midtown Direct Rep Rated P... for Parenthood. And, it's local. That's right - Rated P... for Parenthood is playing at SOPAC right here in my neck of the woods - scenic South Orange, New Jersey.

First, let me tell you this show is hysterically funny. But it's also more then just a good time. It really captures the poignancy of parenthood with sketches focusing on familiar milestones such as your daughter's first day at work (with dad videotaping, of course) to riding shotgun with your teenage son at the wheel (don't worry, the mom survives). The one I related to the most? The mom admitting to her eighth-grade son she can't help him with his homework. I'm already there with my daughter's second-grade math.

Photo: Jeff Larkin

An ensemble cast of four phenomenally talented players cover dozens of characters we can all relate to - the football-watching dad, the laundry-obsessed mom, and of course, the gay dads raising straight triplet boys. 

With three young kids of my own, I'm often still in the will-this-day-ever-end stage of parenting. So today, I was more then a little bit grateful for the reminder that my kids will grow-up much too quickly. (Full disclosure: I will completely forget this sentiment when they climb into bed with me at 5:36am tomorrow morning.)

Tickets to Rated P: The Musical are $35 to $45 and are available online at SOPACNow.org. Performances are Thursday, May 5 to Saturday, May 7 at 8:00pm and Sunday, May 8 at 3pm. There is a talk back with the cast and creative team after every performance. Please note: performance is not suitable for children.

Win tickets to see Rated P at SOPAC on Sunday, May 8 at 3pm!

SOPAC has generously provided two pairs of tickets to readers of Random Handprints. To Enter:

1. Just leave a comment here with your email address. I'll draw one random winner from all comments received.

2. A second pair of tickets will be awarded via Twitter. Just follow me (@RandomHandprint) and tweet me letting me know you'd like to enter the contest. Sample Tweet: I want to win tickets to Parenthood @SOPACNow from @RandomHandprint

~ Good luck! Enter now - Giveaway ends on May 4 at 10pm ~

Giveaway small print: Contest open to U.S. residents age 18 and over. Contest ends at 10:00pm EST, Wednesday, May 4, 2011. Winners will be randomly selected via Random.org and announced here as well as emailed or direct messaged on Twitter with the good news. Two separate drawings will be held for each pair of two tickets, so one individual could win both pairs of tickets for a total of four tickets. Entrants must provide contact information in their comment. If winner does not respond within forty-eight hours, a new winner will be selected. Prize supplied and fulfilled by the South Orange Performing Arts Center (SOPAC). I was not compensated for this post or promoting this contest.

For more information and full giveaway rules please contact anna@randomhandprints.com.